Jesus

Jesus without 'Je' is sus
Jesus is sus
by anonymous November 22, 2021
Get the Jesus mug.

Toenitheu Jesus

Toenitheu Jesus( toe-nith-u-penis) is a alpha wolf man who has a alter ego, AKA Tony. He uses this alter ego to hide the fact that he is a hot sexy beast who gives toe jobs toe random squirrels on the sidewalk. although at first glance he may seem like a mega boner doner hottie who pulls all the elderly men, he does have a secret soft spot. His weakness is right between his big juicy ass cheeks. Tonypoo loves his “Daddychipmunk” who basically is this mega sextron squirrel who carries all around his acorns and nuts and such and sticks them in peoples butthole. Toenitheu is a big fan of this ritual. Tony chooses solely to wear spandex to everywhere he goes to put his 282728293837372992283737282737363 kilometer slong on display because he’s a little whore with a degrading kink. heard he wore fortnite spandex with his blazer at his baptism and the pastor got a boner. All in all Tony is a soft core hottie guy and all the other guys hate him and wanna be him cuz they’re jealous.
“yo did you see that video of Toenitheu Jesus that super hot sexy man sucking some squirrels nuts?”

“yeah he’s such a sexy reckless baddie… i heard he even had to go to ER for rabies or something cuz his sexy ass went total beast mode.”
by penisloverxoxo26 November 22, 2021
Get the Toenitheu Jesus mug.

Modern Jesus

Modern Jesus is a term used for someone who criticizes every thing someone does and thinks that everything they do is perfect.
Person 1: Are you serious you shouldn't smoke it's bad for your lungs.

Person 2: Stfu modern Jesus!
by Pennella August 14, 2017
Get the Modern Jesus mug.

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ: Jesus Christ is the son of God the Father. and he is also called the angel of YHWH in the Old Testament of the Bible. He came down to earth over 2000 years ago and he lived a sinless life and died for our sins. He was the ultimate sacrifice since he was God in the flesh, so his death meant that everybody's sins past present, and future were paid for. The only problem is, people actually have to accept his gift of salvation in order to receive it. You can choose to reject this gift.
by KekolordChri February 14, 2024
Get the Jesus Christ mug.

fried jesus

a man who makes the most delicious cannibalistic fried food. oh yes he makes it delicious....
Aw man, he's such a fried jesus
by DilandRick January 12, 2017
Get the fried jesus mug.

Bongrat Jesus

God in human form, but also a Bong rat (and therefore greater than God himself).
Only Bongrat Jesus himself could pull that off!
by (( (gyfgdfdf October 20, 2021
Get the Bongrat Jesus mug.

Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 05, 2022
Get the Jesus's Army mug.