(Noun) The state of having the specific length of stubble on your legs that actually causes you or someone else physical discomfort.
OMG, my cactus pants are killing me. I'm going to put on some sweats so I don't poke myself in my sleep.
by Pepper Lover July 16, 2016

She was such a miserable bitch until she finally grew her very own snatch cactus and finally got a moment of satisfaction.
by Reithrese May 22, 2018

by InAprosecco February 12, 2022

Forcing sexual intercourse on a porcupine.
"Dan got wrecked trying to pull the angry cactus, it looks like his dick was attacked by a sewing machine."
by Alternative Holes February 22, 2020

When a guy is so hairy, his dick grows side-burns. Shaving often leaves stubble behind making it feel like a cactus inside your vagina.
by ThiccBoi Jenkins April 22, 2018

by Dicto long June 6, 2018

Person 1: Where did you buy that singing cactus?
Person 2: The store, of course!
Singing Cactus: The store, of course!
Person 2: The store, of course!
Singing Cactus: The store, of course!
by Flanfair August 27, 2023
