cold read

The act of fishing for information, either from a gullible paying customer or from an audience who have just been told to be "open-minded", in which any positive feedback is followed deftly as though coming in "on the astral".

Cold reading:

Hello, I'm getting something ... there is someone who has recently died ... yes, someone has, hasn't they? ... a man, no I didn't think so, either, a woman then, an old woman ... no, dreadful isn't it? ... I'm thinking cancer, no?... a car crash ... yes, and it was tragic, and she was before her time too, would I be correct in saying this? ...

by Fearman March 11, 2008

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selective reading

When you have no intention of reading someone's bullshit. So you scan read and only pick out what is relevant to you.

JamsBeam: "I'm going to write a name with my right hand and I'll eat a chip with my left hand"
Me:"are you having a Ketos session Bro?"
JamsBeam:"How does your mind completely erase the word write and replace it with masturbating?"
Me:"it's called selective reading"

by GbAbE September 9, 2018

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reading fatty

When somebody says they're going to roll a fat blunt, but it's a .5 skimper.

Yo I thought you were going to roll a fat blunt? This is a reading fatty

by Wutangg421 January 19, 2018

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Drew Read

Drew Read is a very sweet and wonderful guy. He's cute charming and an absolite fucking idiot. He lacks common sense and is very creepy. He stalks girls and follows them to their house. After they get inside he waits until night and sneaks into a tree. He takes out his binoculars and watches them shower. He particularly likes girls with red hair.

"I saw someone follow me home last night!"
"Oh, that was definetly Drew Read."

by DogPoopWeiner December 1, 2021

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Nip Reading

An incredibly obvious thing every person (man or woman) does when they see a girl with particularly prominent boobs. Staring incredibly intently like they're trying read a book without opening the cover.

These motherfuckin pervs are always nip reading, "my eyes are up here"

by Mary Tyler Moore December 12, 2016

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