jesus

me, i'm very obviously jesus
Me: Hello
Everyone: Oh my god! It's literally Jesus Christ!
Get the jesus mug.

Jesus

Sexy ass mother fucker I wanna rail so hard him and someone named Moussa were in bed last night
Jesus is super sexy

Moussa: Ikr!

Julissa: wow Iโ€™m so mad
by Moussa The moose January 12, 2022
Get the Jesus mug.

Jesus

A guy from the bible who people believe died for our sins. Mainly worshipped in Christianity.

Although there are some Christians who are cool with people of color and homosexuals, Homophobic and Racist people commit hate crimes in his name. Namely *cough*republicans*cough*
Republican using Jesus to his benifit:
In the mighty name of Jesus I ban you from this store, and any other f** here!
Jesus says that the covid vaccine is a lie!
Homosexuality is a SIN! THE LORD JESUS SAID SO!

Normal Christian Respecting People:
Remember Jesus loves you honey.
Jesus is with you my dear.
Jesus take the wheel!
Get the Jesus mug.

Jesus

biggest liar ever, will break your heart, bad-looking, acts sweet, is actually a bitch.
Jesus is a big lying bitch.
by culurful October 17, 2021
Get the Jesus mug.

Jesus

Hammered to a cross and burned๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Jesus was hammered to a cross๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
by Whoโ€™s willma? May 20, 2021
Get the Jesus mug.

Jesus

can this guy be just a very nice person that meditated a lot?
Doug: hey, J!
Jesus: hey, Forcett.
by wokeup2this July 08, 2022
Get the Jesus mug.

Jesus

An irl healer who did some stuff and walked on water
Jesus
by hellsoup November 25, 2021
Get the Jesus mug.