Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024
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Jesus School

A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke
John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “
by Urtletheturtle August 04, 2018
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Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
by Hym Iam November 23, 2023
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Jesus time

The timer between A.D and B.C
It’s Jesus time.
by The garbage can 69 April 20, 2021
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Jesus time

When you declare Jesus time there is no cussing and no shenanigans .
Guy 1: That little mother fuc...
Guy 2: It’s Jesus time.
Guy 1: Ok.
by Hamburgerblobfish May 10, 2019
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Jesus is a mexican guy who almost got banned from the tomia.ly server and he also got a samsung note 8 that has a verizon rom which gives him nightmares, also Jesus Wants to Sue Verizon

He is also very gay
Jesus (the guy with the note8) hates verizon because his phone is locked
by Arandomtechguy July 13, 2022
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the holy jesus

for people into shit fetishes this ones for you after a long period of anal fucking a bird that had a bad case of the shits you stand and stretch like jesus on the cross then the girl still in the doggy position sprays you from head to foot in shit causing the holy jesus effect its a mix of holy shit and jesus
oh mighty god i pray to thee that you give this woman thy power to spray thee in feocal matter from thy head to thy foot therefore giving me thy power of the holy jesus
by anal*smear July 25, 2008
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