jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.
After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.
by jpeg1024 April 06, 2015
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Juiced Jesus

To be toned and muscular, while having long majestic hair and an almost Chuck Norris like beard. *Tattoos are not required, but recommended.*
Man, Opie from Sons of Anarchy really became a Juiced Jesus in season 4 of the show.
by Ulta-Thug MD. June 10, 2015
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Jesus Tits

It’s meaning is also the same as Holy Shit, holy cow, damn it, fuck a duck, shit, fuck, etc. You can use Jesus Tits instead of any curse word. Created by Archie Sowell
Jesus Tits! That’s a nice truck!

Jesus Tits! You’re an idiot!
Jesus Tits! I stubbed my toe!
by Arch1980 December 27, 2020
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jesus-legal

another way of saying you are 33 years old
It was Dans' birthday yesterday, he is now Jesus-legal
by Entity1002 March 01, 2022
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jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.
We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.
by Iureport March 27, 2024
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Jetway Jesus

A term that no one uses and one guy decided to come up with as away of spreading ableist ignorance.

Ignorance about mobility aids use are the reason people give ambulatory wheelchair users attitude, harass them, and interrogate them. The majority of wheelchair users are ambulatory wheelchair users; meaning they are able to walk or stand for certain short amounts of time. The process of standing in line to check your baggage, then walking to TSA, then standing in line to go through TSA, and then walking to your terminal (this doesn’t even account for if you need food) can either be entirely too much for a person with a disability or chronic illness, or exasperate their pain to the extreme. That entire process should also, not be compared to the less than 50 feet it takes to walk to your wheelchair.
Some guy on Urban Dictionary: Wow, look at those people walk off the plane to their wheelchairs! Jetway Jesus must have healed them.

Me: You don’t need to be paralyzed to need a wheelchair. Most wheelchair users can walk some distance. 😑
by klavuu01 August 15, 2024
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Jetway Jesus

A mythical figure colloquially known in the airline industry believed to miraculously 'heal' passengers who request wheelchairs or any other form of mobility assistance at their point of departure but mysteriously no longer need it upon their arrival. The sudden recovery is often attributed to the miraculous intervention of 'Jetway Jesus'. The term reflects the cynical humor often employed by airline employees due to the perceived misuse of accessibility services by able-bodied passengers.
After helping a passenger in a wheelchair onto the plane, I was surprised to see her walk off unassisted at the destination. Looks like we've had another visit from Jetway Jesus.
by HappyCleaner82 November 22, 2023
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