Jesus Fresus

John 8:32 - And you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free.

Jesus died on the cross to set us all free from sin.

Jack: It's been a long night. I guess I better get going.

Jill: Ok... Jesus Fresus

Jack: Jesus Fresus

by metalforJesus February 25, 2010

Screaming Jesus

A FICTIONAL sexual "maneuver" that you would apply to a person you don't particularly like (or in some cases- hate), but still want to have sexual intercourse because they are extremely hot.

It is a maneuver specifically made up for fantasy purposes only- as the other person would die. It involves you nailing the A-hole/ Bitch to a cross, and then nailing him/ her (with consent).

Paul: "Damn, Bob's sister is a total Bitch. Did you hear what she said?"
Tom: "I know, what a total Bitch. She's really hot though."
Paul: "I know- I'd like to give that bitch the screaming Jesus."
Tom: "Me too, man."

by JemIsJerrica September 25, 2009

Jesus Christ Sponge

Commonly referring to the pads of non-working lame excuse for a cleaning tool otherwise known as Shamwow.

It's a fucking Jesus Christ Sponge! Run from the soakage!

by JellysWalkinOnAir December 30, 2009

Jesus Lansus

A term that describes, when your really surprised, confused, mad or rattled?

Bernie: Hey Pev, guess what... Skelator is in front of the house!

Pev: Oh my Jesus Lansus

by Darson Bishop May 3, 2011

Mother of Jesus Christ

Something you yell out when your team is losing or you have to pay a expensive bill.

John- Mother of Jesus Christ i can't believe the Patriots are losing to the Raiders

Me- I guess the patriots just suck

by Crzyfkr October 9, 2010

jesus pur

1. A person who loves to PK in the game of Runescape. | 2. Having a full friends list. | 3. #kool ftw. | 4. Someone who loves to play Zelda. | 5. To know where your front door is.

Guy 1 "Wow! He has been playing Ocarina of Time all day!" Guy 2 "Yea, hes such a jesus pur."

by Turglow June 23, 2010

Jesus family tomb

Is a tomp found in Isreal also called the Talpiot tomb. It was first brought to the attention of the world in a book called "The Jesus family tomb" by Simcha Jacobovici and Charles R. Pellegrino.
In the tomb there are the ossuaries that contain the bones of a family that brears all the names of Jesus in the bible. It has been estimated by a mathematician that the odds of it being the tomb of Jesus are 600 to 1 in favour of it being Jesus' tomb.
This is one of those things that fundamentalist don't want you to know because it would mean Jesus didn't rise from the dead.

Have you read the Jesus family tomb?

by Deep blue 2012 August 8, 2010