Kid: Mommy! Theres no toilet paper left!!
Mom: *Hands copy of Twilight over* Here you go, use this!
Kid: Whats this pile of shit?
Mom: You wipe your shit on it.
Mom: *Hands copy of Twilight over* Here you go, use this!
Kid: Whats this pile of shit?
Mom: You wipe your shit on it.
by Cassiopeia R December 27, 2011
Get the Twilight mug.by Radaza May 4, 2011
Get the TWILIGHT mug.So basically this book is crap. There's no literary devices used at all. There wasn't even characterization besides cold and pale. There were three words used so may times it gave me a headache: cold, pale, and said. And people think Edward is hot? Honestly. He's like an ugly version of Stalin. Bella is the worst main character ever. She literally runs around with two guys who are unable to keep their shirts on. She makes females everywhere look bad. Stephanie Meyers made it seem as though women need men to constantly protect them. WELL WE DONT BITCH. Also, how do twilight fangirls exist? YOURE A DISGRACE TO FANGIRLS EVERYWHERE. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH ROBERT PATTERASS AND TAYLOR WHATS-HIS-NAME. REAL FANGIRLS LIKE MARVEL AND SUPERWHOLOCK ETC ARE ACTUALLY INTO THE PLOT OF THE BOOK/MOVIE/SHOW THEY WATCH/READ NOT JUST THE HOT DUDES (Theyre like a nice bonus). Also how are Harry Potter and Twilight like competitors on the Internet or whatever? THATS BULL. ITS LIKE COMPARING JURASSIC PARK TO ITS SEQUELS. THERE ISNT EVEN A CHANCE FOR TWILIGHT HERE.
Summary of Twilight:
"He was really cold and pale. He watched me while I was sleeping when I barely knew him. It was really romantic" said Bella.
"I wish I had a cute relationship" said Jessica
"Yeah we're cute. He also thinks my blood smells good and wants to eat me whatever that means. He was also very cold and pale. Did I already mention that?"
"He was really cold and pale. He watched me while I was sleeping when I barely knew him. It was really romantic" said Bella.
"I wish I had a cute relationship" said Jessica
"Yeah we're cute. He also thinks my blood smells good and wants to eat me whatever that means. He was also very cold and pale. Did I already mention that?"
by Starkasm March 10, 2015
Get the Twilight mug.A movie and book written by some girl named Stephanie but I don't know what her last name is. The main idea of the book/movie is about a forty thousand year old guy trying to hook up w/ a sixteen year old girl.
Edward- Hey!!! Wanna' go out?!!!
Bella- How old are you?
Edward- Uhhhh
Bella- HOW OLD ARE YOU!!!
Edward- Only a few *mumbles* thousand *goes back to normal voice* years old
Bella- Only a few what?!
Edward- Thousand okay!!! I'm a few thousand years old okay!!!!
Bella- OH MY GOD!! You little creep!! Or not so little creep!! ... So what anti-aging cream do you use?
The reality of Twilight
Bella- How old are you?
Edward- Uhhhh
Bella- HOW OLD ARE YOU!!!
Edward- Only a few *mumbles* thousand *goes back to normal voice* years old
Bella- Only a few what?!
Edward- Thousand okay!!! I'm a few thousand years old okay!!!!
Bella- OH MY GOD!! You little creep!! Or not so little creep!! ... So what anti-aging cream do you use?
The reality of Twilight
by Freddles99 July 14, 2011
Get the Twilight mug.1)N. The time between dawn and sunrise.
2)N. The most disgraceful attempt at a book in history, making a choice between Bestiality and Necrophilia sound, to a sad and depressed high school girl, like a good idea, written by a vary pathetic excuse for an author named Stephenie Meyer.
2)N. The most disgraceful attempt at a book in history, making a choice between Bestiality and Necrophilia sound, to a sad and depressed high school girl, like a good idea, written by a vary pathetic excuse for an author named Stephenie Meyer.
1) "Hi honey isn't twilight beautiful."
2) "The Fuck was that bitch Stephenie Meyer thinking, vampires are not emotional sissy boys, do not attend high school. DO...NOT...SPARKLE!!!"
2) "The Fuck was that bitch Stephenie Meyer thinking, vampires are not emotional sissy boys, do not attend high school. DO...NOT...SPARKLE!!!"
by VampireKittyCat December 15, 2012
Get the Twilight mug.A book series that destroyed decades of progress in young adult literature, as well as passed up strong female protagonists like Eowyn from lotr (who kills the king of the nazgul and fights alongside men, disregarding stereotypes), Hermione from Harry Potter (who, when her boyfriend leaves fights evil wizards instead of moping), and Celaena from Throne of Glass (an all-around badass) for a stereotypical, apathetic, and unrealistic main character, Bella.
Bella is the complete opposite of a strong female protagonist, basing her entire self-worth off the opinion of her boyfriend, disregarding all other aspects of her life, including her family, schoolwork, a future career, and her physical and mental health for her boyfriend. She stays with and pursues a man who has an unhealthy power dynamic in their relationship and threatens her multiple times with physical harm.
Stephanie Meyer successfully upholds unhealthy gender stereotypes through these books, teaching young girls that without a hot boy you are nothing. She also teaches that a 109 year old man watching a 16 year old girl in her bedroom without permission is sexy, a grown man vowing that he is in love with a newborn is appropriate, and that your significant other's opinion of you is the only measure of your self-worth.
Also, VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE and it is ridiculous to propose that they do. Meyer once said "the idea for Twilight came to me in a dream," and that dream may have been drug-induced.
Bella is the complete opposite of a strong female protagonist, basing her entire self-worth off the opinion of her boyfriend, disregarding all other aspects of her life, including her family, schoolwork, a future career, and her physical and mental health for her boyfriend. She stays with and pursues a man who has an unhealthy power dynamic in their relationship and threatens her multiple times with physical harm.
Stephanie Meyer successfully upholds unhealthy gender stereotypes through these books, teaching young girls that without a hot boy you are nothing. She also teaches that a 109 year old man watching a 16 year old girl in her bedroom without permission is sexy, a grown man vowing that he is in love with a newborn is appropriate, and that your significant other's opinion of you is the only measure of your self-worth.
Also, VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE and it is ridiculous to propose that they do. Meyer once said "the idea for Twilight came to me in a dream," and that dream may have been drug-induced.
TWILIGHT FAN: omg Edward is so hot omg omg i'm going to go reread the series i wish i were bella can you believe Breaking Dawn?!?!
ME: Get a life. Also, you realize you are crushing on a 109 year old man who stalks teenagers, right?
ME: Get a life. Also, you realize you are crushing on a 109 year old man who stalks teenagers, right?
by allthatisgolddoesnotglitter December 4, 2016
Get the Twilight mug.A series of books, and now motion pictures, that are very popular among pre-teens (with the occasional actual teenage GIRL). It tells the story of a misunderstood "vegetarian" vampire and the new girl in school and their oh so tragic love story. The character of Bella (new girl in school) has little to no personality which is most likely the literary device that made it so addicting to young women. These love starved girls can very easily put themselves into the place of
Bella because there is very little know about her that readers need to remove from their minds. Edward (misunderstood vampire...who sparkles) is portrayed as the "perfect man" in every aspect possible, however the writer fails to actually expand on all the reasons he is so very "god-like". There is no actual plot until about the last 70 pages so the rest is used to convince young girls to toss aside all other men that do not live up to the standard they have created for Edward Cullen in their mind.
Bella because there is very little know about her that readers need to remove from their minds. Edward (misunderstood vampire...who sparkles) is portrayed as the "perfect man" in every aspect possible, however the writer fails to actually expand on all the reasons he is so very "god-like". There is no actual plot until about the last 70 pages so the rest is used to convince young girls to toss aside all other men that do not live up to the standard they have created for Edward Cullen in their mind.
Boy to Twilight reading Girl: Hey i was wondering if you would like to go out some time.
Twilight reading Girl: Do you sparkle?
Boy: Excuse me?
Twilight reading Girl: You heard me. Do you sparkle?
Boy: Um no...
Twilight reading Girl: Will you let me call you Edward?
Boy: But my name is...
Twilight reading Girl: I don't even care just leave. (whispers to friends) god what a loser!
Hint: Twilight reading Girl need to take a look in the mirror
Twilight reading Girl: Do you sparkle?
Boy: Excuse me?
Twilight reading Girl: You heard me. Do you sparkle?
Boy: Um no...
Twilight reading Girl: Will you let me call you Edward?
Boy: But my name is...
Twilight reading Girl: I don't even care just leave. (whispers to friends) god what a loser!
Hint: Twilight reading Girl need to take a look in the mirror
by saddend.by.society. December 7, 2010
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