Free kick merchant

Is a person who cannot do anything on the pitch but score magnificent set piece goals.

A: What a goal from Ward-Prowse! We bangs another magnificent one!

B:Insane goal from him. But still, he's only a free kick merchant.

by Tommathy Simons December 11, 2023

rant merchant

A person who is prolific at dishing out his own passionate opinions, whether they be requested or not. An opinion from a rant merchant is always correct.

"That guy's got an opinion on everything.."
"I know, he's a right bloody rant merchant."
"Always right though..."

by RantMerchant October 26, 2009

Garbage Merchant

Any retailer that sells junk, knowingly defective products, has shitty or non-existent technical support, and just sells completely and utterly useless crap. Garbage Merchant products should be bought and thrown directly in the trash. If you purchase from a Garbage Merchant, consider that you have just made a donation to them and got next to nothing in return.
Some examples of Garbage Merchant sales items include: 1) Anything at a dollar store, 2) knick-knack shops, 3) most independently owned, used car dealerships.

Two shoppers at a dollar store:

Shopper One: "This place has a lot of cheap crap."
Shopper Two: "Yeah, it's basically a Garbage Merchant."

by Jordicolas November 16, 2020

Shorts Merchant

Shorts Merchant- Somebody who is addicted to wearing shorts 24/7, 365. There is probably 1-2 shorts merchants in your life. Symptoms include general knowledge, use of shorts EVERY DAY and high IQ. This is recognised as a disease and if you discover somebody who is a shorts merchant please report it to the authorities.

"Did Markiplier actually watch the bite of 87? Like real?" - Shorts Merchant

by YhYhSound December 18, 2021

Karzy Merchant

A extremely loud unpleasant person who give's it Large all the time but once faced with hardship or trouble there ass falls out

Hey Greenwood your complaining about no work we get you a job on the gas and your ass falls out you karzy Merchant

by Knees up man March 29, 2025

Backdoor Merchant

A proprietor of the backdoor. i.e Anal sex.
One who deals with women married or in relationships secretly. The two definitions often go hand in hand

Did you see Tony coming out of John's house yesterday, that guy's a real Backdoor Merchant

by Backdoor Merchant December 28, 2016

Public order merchant

A person who uses the public order act as a threat to report you even to the police even though you've done nothing wrong.

For example a passerby thinks you swore so they threaten to call the police on you the passerby would be a public order merchant.

by BOB G 69 April 4, 2025