jesus

a.k.a jesus fucking christ, jesus tap dancing christ and jesus child molestion christ, he seemed to be a good man, and he probally didnt want his beliefs to turn into a cult as it has become, but hey, theres nothin he can do about it he is dead

my pastor: the bible says i can touch you where ever i want, so shut up

me: what?!? the bible just has little kids stories in it

my paster: jesus child molesting christ just take off your clothes

me: help?!?!?!

by erik von darkmoor September 24, 2007

JESU!

JESU! = a false christ, often miss-pelt by death eaters or leia.

"hey g2g, church bru!11!"
"okay say hi to JESU!!"
"OMG DEATH EATER"
*VOLDI ENTERS*
"AVADA KEVADRA"
*EVERYONE*
"dayyyyummm"

by JESU! April 04, 2010

Jesus

The king of kings and the Lord of Lords!! A man that will accept you for who you are and save your soul and he will never judge you just love you!!!

I praise you Jesus the rock of ages!

by Kittyolee1 September 09, 2013

jesus

1. Protagonist in the fictional book known as the holy bible.

2. Also a swear word.

"Jesus H Particular Christ!"
"Jesus Christ on a bicycle."
"Jesus isn't real."

by kvlygugyh March 10, 2009

Jesus

Our savior
Who died on the cross to save us from our sins.

The one who keeps my faith alive.
I say to myself that everythings going to be okay, because of Jesus.

by peaceiseverything March 19, 2010

jesus

Some made up character in a book that was written by ordinary people thousands of years ago...and then re written for some reason some time later. His existence has never bee proven. See also joke, imaginary, athiesm.

guy : i think i saw bigfoot in my backyard
me : bigfoot doesnt exist you dickshitter. hes a made up story
guy : you mean like that jesus guy?
me : word

by vinnie baby January 27, 2008

jesus

a magician that lived 2000 years ago,fooling the less intelligent and weak.He was the chris angel of his time,the only reason why we dont think chris angel is the son of god is because we understand magic and know its fake but 2000 years ago people werent so smart.

Damm jesus you turned my water into wine,how did you do that ?

by nothing_but_the_truth December 22, 2008