false alarm boner

false alarm boner, or FAB, is when someone says or acts seductively, then quickly ends it or sends bad signals

Person 1: Read this status: This sex, is sex, how sex, you sex, keep sex, a sex, dumb sex, ass sex, busy sex, for sex, 20 seconds. Read this again but don't say sex. ;)

Person 2: aw man i seriously had a false alarm boner going for a second

Woman 1: would you like to give my pussy a bath?

Guy 1: oh man, i would love to!

Woman 1: ok good, my cat is very dirty

Guy 1: oh man what a hard false alarm boner

by asssburgers February 19, 2011

calm your boner

when a dude is way to excited to do something to a point where its gay.

x: DUDE i cant wait for the sleep over tonight..... were gonna watch some porn!

y: Calm your boner!

by cogan dexler January 18, 2011

Coke off a Boner

The literal act of snorting cocaine off of an individual's erect penis. Often done in desperation.

So… you wanna do coke off a boner?

by Tigonbiddies January 14, 2014

anti-boner explodaphopia

When you expect to see something totally awesome that will result in you getting an instant boner but instead see something extremely revolting. At the instant you see the revolting material your boner explodes! This horrible affliction affects tens of people a year.

Anti-boner explodaphopia is like when some one tells you Pamela Anderson is behind you naked dildoing herself and calling your name and then you turn around as your getting a boner and see your grandmother naked shitting on a plate looking right into your eyes giving you two thumbs up and smiling.

by JustARadfordKid May 22, 2009

bad boner day

A day when your morning wood remains until bedtime. A very persistant erection that hurts and interferes with your ability to have a nice day, often caused by a long night masturbating or having sex. This can also be caused by, but less commonly, shoving a long object through the urethra.

Boss: You seem a bit irritated today - whats wrong?
Worker: Im just kinda having a bad boner day, sir.

by Pooty__Toot April 7, 2008

Boner Rage

When a bunch of guys are hanging out and having way too much fun.

"Hey Tyler what's up?"

"Oh not much me and the guys are just sitting in my room talking."

"You're just in a dark room talking? You're not watching T.v, or anything?"

"No just chatting..."

"Sounds like a boner rage..."

by S.G.A 90000 September 8, 2009

lactating boner geyser

A Male specimen having an incredible orgasm.

Oh god, Oh god, I'm going to have lactating boner geyser

by Schwing33 May 31, 2015