uncle jack hasn't come by today

This is when a guy/girl hasn't had the time to do his/her daily jack-off and is pent up and taking it out on others. If you are not a daily masturbater then this could also be used as "uncle jack hasn't come by this week/month"

"I'm sorry for being a jerk, uncle jack hasn't come by today and it has be all riled up"

by Wholeeyo October 8, 2021

Empire Today

A popular flooring and carpeting company that has a catchy jingle that no one could resist singing along to when the commercial comes on

Chorus: (singing): “800-588-2300, Empire Today!”

by rosenovarocks July 23, 2021

today on things

Expression. Short-hand for "Today on things that happened".

Used when someone is lying, or exaggerating a story. Often used on the internet and seldom in real life.

"Here's a picture of the house I paid off in two years using essential oils!! #BossBabe"

"Today on things"

by GoobyeLikeAOuija July 25, 2021

Today or Tomorrow

Within 2-14 business days.

I have a meeting. I’ll bring it to you today or tomorrow.

by TortillaPlodzien August 24, 2021

I don't hafta visit da Soviet Union today

Humorous way of saying dat you currently have plenty of time to complete your present task --- i.e., you aren't "rushin' around".

I started out extra-early on my around-town-errands trip, so I don't hafta visit da Soviet Union today.

by QuacksO November 10, 2024

I woke up today

A term mostly used by some people on BandLab named projekt5 and Grøøt, which has a lot of meanings, most notably meaning that a person woke up or that something is amazing. Derived from Grøøt's own song "Daily Routine"

"I woke up today
And I knew it was gonna be a great day"
- Grøøt, 2024

by ran2010 January 2, 2025

I woke up today

1. An adjective describing something of insurmountable greatness/perfection.

2. A reference to the Pop song Daily Routine by Grøøt, released August 14th, 2024.

This song is so I woke up today, dude!

Guys, I woke up todayyyyyy and I knew it was gonna be a great day!

by grootunknown January 2, 2025