Melvin

Melvin (also known as the chinese emperor Xi Ling) is revolutionary for the scientific world.

Melvin is the first neandertal reborn in modern time, this is made possible through his love for Billys pan pizza, which reincarnated him in 2008.

He has a total of 2 braincells that are both fighting for third place. Both his chromosones and height in centimeters are 176.

His name was declared in 2009 as another word for autism.
Melvin has a history of anger issues related to the popular game For Honor. Symptoms of Melvin being close to the game can cause him to scream racial slurs, brutally molest his microphone and destroy keyboards.

To prevent these agrevating symptoms he needs to have a parental figure within 10 meters of him at all times, and making him play at night has proven him to calm down.

His haircut (a buzzcut) has granted him access to engage in conversations with monkeys such as chimpanzees, orangutangs and the infamous Herr Nillson.

We suspect that he was raised by monkeys in his youth, which causes this abnormal behaviour.
Last but not least, his monkey based raising causes him to grow hair like a true chimp. He startet the rumors of bigfoot when he was skating and trying to do a macaroni tripple mcflurry flip with a backslick.
Person 1: Is he aucustic?
Person 2: Yes hes a bit on the Melvin side of the spectrum.

Patient: Give it to me straight doc, how did my autism test go?
Doctor: Im afraid that you tested 100% positive for Melvin'tism.
Patient: Dag nab it

Melvin: I passed the test. It told me that im artistic.
Doctor: No it said that you are autistic, is your name Melvin my any chance?

Person 1: Is that a monkey?
Person 2: No I think thats Melvin?
Melvin: Ooga Booga
by Xi Ping January 22, 2024
Get the Melvin mug.

Melvin

A clean, funny person most times ghetto but a little classy, cool, definitely can fight, a bitch, smart, mid money not rich but not broke, has lots of love.
“Have you ever heard of Melvin” ye the ghetto smart student

HOSTILE🩵
by THE BIG MF M November 21, 2023
Get the Melvin mug.

Melvin

1) A weird name, like the marshon front Looney Tools
2) A name for a frontal wedgie
1) Melvin just died
2) I got an atomic Melvin from the school bully
by TheButtLickerMan May 18, 2018
Get the Melvin mug.

Melvin

Shit ass australian guy who laughs a little funny.
"When you laugh you sound like a Melvin"
by KutikiPlayz October 23, 2022
Get the Melvin mug.

Melvin

“I gave frank a Melvin. His balls were hurting for the rest of the day.”
by POONTANGODOWN October 13, 2018
Get the Melvin mug.

Melvin

The pure embodiment of a person who has nothing and never will. A term often used in the brutal slander of an individual.
You're such a Melvin. This guy pulled the ultimate Melvin moment
by TrueGigaChad October 03, 2021
Get the Melvin mug.

Melvin

An extremely stupid (and somehow not illegal) play on the stock market by an institutional investor which results in billions of dollars of damage to the company who made the play. Typically due to extreme greed such as shorting stock by over %100 in the hopes of buying it back after it drops to zero dollars.
Named for the company holding the short position during the 2021 GME Short Squeeze
GME is a company with no intrinsic value! They'll be bankrupt by the end of 2020! Let's Melvin it! What's the worst that could happen? Only a total retard would try to squeeze us here...
by Shallow Fucking Money January 28, 2021
Get the Melvin mug.