Ritalin

Methylphenidate based brand named stimulant medication primarily for the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)/ADD. Often given to children on the advice of elementary school teachers due to restless and disruptive behavior they exhibit in the classroom. It is thought to help them sit still and pay attention. The drug is akin to Cocaine, but lasts a bit longer. Therefore, it is often abused by people who want to lose weight or succeed in school. Often causes Insomnia and Anxiety. Most doctors prescribe Ritalin to those who have ADHD so that they can just shut their patients up. Often helps at least 70% of people who have the disorder.

Teacher: Why are you being so disruptive, did you forget to take your Ritalin this morning?
Student: Yeah, I forgot. Sorry.

Teacher: Thought so. I may have a few in my desk somewhere. Try to remember next time.

College Student: I can't go to this class at 8:30 in the morning! Mad early.
Friend: Dude, just take a Ritalin and wash it down with coffee. You'll be good.

The next day

College Student: Dude, that Ritalin is amazing! I was able to exercise, do my laundry, and get to class on time.

Friend: Yeah, let's get wasted now!

by PTrockstar92 February 16, 2014

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