Microsoft Paradox

When Windows demands that you change your password, but the only way to do it is through the Microsoft cloud portal, which is locked behind Microsoft Authenticator… and that piece of shit app just spins forever like it’s personally fucking you. The perfect loop of corporate incompetence.

Why is Amber drinking at work?
The Microsoft Paradox raw-dogged her entire morning.

by BranDamag3 November 19, 2025

Microsofted

"You Just Got Microsofted"
(verb)

When a company gets so dominant and cocky that government regulators slam them with antitrust lawsuits, lawsuits, restrictions, or public humiliation — just like Microsoft in the late '90s.

Examples:

“Bro, Nvidia locked AI devs into CUDA again.”

→ “Oh damn… they’re about to get Microsofted.”

“Apple’s gatekeeping USB-C till the EU forced ‘em.”

→ “Classic Microsofting.”

by Brokugeta May 28, 2025

Edging My Microsoft.

Using Microsoft edge on windows.

"Hey bro, I've been Edging My Microsoft."
'yah bro it's a cool browser'

by SWEATY CHESS April 4, 2025

Microsoft

The grossest, smelliest, piece of shit company known to the planet.

I dare you to try and get support from Microsoft.

by tm69 October 18, 2021

Microsoft Word

a program that sucks.
often shortened to word.

word sucks
microsoft word is not free

by messinwiththed630 December 31, 2020

Microsoft Manoeuvre

Plug it out and plug it back in again

"It's not working"
Have you tried the Microsoft Manoeuvre?

by Manadar June 7, 2022

Microsofted

When a previously good product or service becomes worse due to corporate acquisition, poor integration, conflicting priorities, or the influence of a larger company's bureaucratic approach to product development.

"Ever since the partnership started, ChatGPT totally got microsofted - it's just not the same anymore."

by Itsanamune July 14, 2025