serious crumpet

A very pretty girl

That lady we met today is very attractive ~ Serious Crumpet

by Guv’nor December 17, 2023

rubbish crumpet

Pseudo-british term for the anus, especially in the context of Anilingus.

My dear would you be so kind as to allow lingual stimulation of your rubbish crumpet?

by hbright December 18, 2024

swedish crumpet

a swedish crumpet is when you fart on someone’s food and then make them eat it. similar to a dutch oven, but replace the face with their food. often performed as a revenge ritual against a friend that wronged you, this move is taken stealthily in secret but there’s no doubt the enemy won’t notice the difference as soon as they chow down.

term coined by gizem bektas DJ and journalist.

A: Oh My God, Felix pulled a swedish crumpet on my ikea meatballs yesterday.
B: No way… was the aroma pungent? I haven’t done one of those in years.
A: It lit my taste buds and nose on fire..

by gizemtheDJ January 8, 2025

Cleveland Crumpet

The act of having his/her freshly defected feces pushed out halfway and have there cheeks squished together and rubbed, to make a cleveland crumpet

“Kenzy can I have a cleveland crumpet?”
“I had a major stiffy after my cleveland crumpet.”

by ClevelandCrumpeter June 6, 2025

krinkle your crumpet

Masturbating underwater. Usually referring to underwater female-masturbation, but not exclusive to females.

Jane spent so long krinkling her crumpet in the bath her cunt was pruney.

Don't krinkle your crumpets in the bath! I have to take showers in that tub!!!

by lyla1315 February 3, 2015

Humpin' the crumpet

1. Light-hearted joking
2. Lube-less anal sex
Closest synonym: joshin'

Don't get offended, bro. I was just humpin' the crumpet.

I didn't mean to kill your mom - I was humpin' her crumpet and my dick stabbed all the way through.

by thescholar(i read dostoyevsky) December 16, 2018