Cactus Man
Putting thing politely, Cactus Man is a total dickhead, indeed a marked man by all accounts and whose name invariably if not inevitably is called Mark (sorry Mark! we know you are a nice guy really, this is the "other Mark").
Both arrogant and aloof with a sense of utter pompousness that all around are beneath him: after all "nobody is as good as cactus man" and sadly this is what makes him a total prick. This man does not know the meaning of common courtesy and the words "please" and "thank you" are non-existent in his vocabularly.
Cactus man is more than happy to take ALL of the credit, and all of the glory where he can (if he considers you "worthy" enough) but will rarely if ever give you any credit or recognition for your hard work (unless you are unfortunate to make a mistake!). Cactus man is a teflon manager with a neck of brass, and shoulders of teflon, nothing sticks to him - he is a complete and utter pillicock if ever.
Cactus man's gaze is forever upwards staring the ass of those higher up the corporate ladder, and he cares not what muck/filth he drops on those below. Indeed apt to dropping you in it a short notice. Generally having few real friends (if any), few people like him and many despise him.
Most definitely not a team player and best to avoid where you can.
Putting thing politely, Cactus Man is a total dickhead, indeed a marked man by all accounts and whose name invariably if not inevitably is called Mark (sorry Mark! we know you are a nice guy really, this is the "other Mark").
Both arrogant and aloof with a sense of utter pompousness that all around are beneath him: after all "nobody is as good as cactus man" and sadly this is what makes him a total prick. This man does not know the meaning of common courtesy and the words "please" and "thank you" are non-existent in his vocabularly.
Cactus man is more than happy to take ALL of the credit, and all of the glory where he can (if he considers you "worthy" enough) but will rarely if ever give you any credit or recognition for your hard work (unless you are unfortunate to make a mistake!). Cactus man is a teflon manager with a neck of brass, and shoulders of teflon, nothing sticks to him - he is a complete and utter pillicock if ever.
Cactus man's gaze is forever upwards staring the ass of those higher up the corporate ladder, and he cares not what muck/filth he drops on those below. Indeed apt to dropping you in it a short notice. Generally having few real friends (if any), few people like him and many despise him.
Most definitely not a team player and best to avoid where you can.
by Fadoodles October 26, 2018
Get the cactus man mug.There are several definitions floating around out there - but this is an original scenario and should be considered an authentic Cactus Jack henceforth -
If lonely in the desert, take a small cactus and carefully remove all needles. Insert a knife in the bottom and hollow out the pulp. You should now have a flap of cactus skin with a nicely lubricated, aloey, gooey lining. Carefully insert two fingers and feel around the inside looking for any "ingrown needles". Once satisfied that your cactus meets all safety requirements, you may proceed to have sex with it. Afterwards, rinse and repeat as desired. The flap will fold easily and can be kept discreetly in your pocket.
If lonely in the desert, take a small cactus and carefully remove all needles. Insert a knife in the bottom and hollow out the pulp. You should now have a flap of cactus skin with a nicely lubricated, aloey, gooey lining. Carefully insert two fingers and feel around the inside looking for any "ingrown needles". Once satisfied that your cactus meets all safety requirements, you may proceed to have sex with it. Afterwards, rinse and repeat as desired. The flap will fold easily and can be kept discreetly in your pocket.
When Casey was doing infantry training out in the desert, I heard he got lonely in his fighting hole and made himself up a nice little Cactus Jack for company.
by Daddy Ruxpin November 9, 2010
Get the Cactus Jack mug.When a mans pubes are so thick and coarse that when he pulls out after sex several of his pubes are still stuck in the womans pubus region (like when you touch a cactus)
1. Oh man, My vag is sore, shawns got a major "cactus cock"
2. "I had sex with a guy who had cactus cock and i've been pulling his pubes out of my thighs and labia for days" exclaimed Emily
2. "I had sex with a guy who had cactus cock and i've been pulling his pubes out of my thighs and labia for days" exclaimed Emily
by em-dash July 6, 2009
Get the cactus cock mug.(v). to slap the cactus, to be slapping the cactus, to have slapped the cactus.
A phrase used upon the realization that you are (or even within the act of) doing something worthy of a *facepalm* only it is worse. It is also the more exciting substitute for calling someone dumb, or stupid.
A phrase used upon the realization that you are (or even within the act of) doing something worthy of a *facepalm* only it is worse. It is also the more exciting substitute for calling someone dumb, or stupid.
"Sarah was definitely slapped the cactus last night - she turned the stove on, forgot that she had, and proceeded to set her laundry down - thankfully she only singed her eyebrows when she tried to put the fire out with the contents of a suspicious water bottle that turned out to be full of vodka"
Sam: "Come on man, you HAVE to admit, Shelby is pretty hott"
Tim: "Dude, stop slapping the cactus - she looks like a mule"
Sam: "Come on man, you HAVE to admit, Shelby is pretty hott"
Tim: "Dude, stop slapping the cactus - she looks like a mule"
by Sienna Shay October 3, 2010
Get the Slapping the Cactus mug.when the hair on your nuts resembles
the prickly needles of a cactus, as a
result of going extended lengths of
time between shaving.
the prickly needles of a cactus, as a
result of going extended lengths of
time between shaving.
by BLACKFRANK October 22, 2008
Get the Cactus Sack mug.An offensive word used to name Mexican people. Derived from incidents where illegal immigrants accidentaly land on cactus as the jump the border.
by doooz August 19, 2008
Get the cactus crusher mug.to line the rim with needles from a cactus and then sit on your partners face. or alternatively shove a cactus in your ass so their cock gets a nasty shock.
by anal12345 June 9, 2012
Get the anal cactus mug.