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teach a man to fish saying 

something someone named leo can’t stop saying
the teach a man to fish saying is said like this, “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.” - john leo penn

Sell a coffin to a dead man 

Very good at negotiating, smooth talker, above average persuasive skills. Coined by Candice on Big Brother 15
I don't really wanna by these girl scout cookies, but man, that girl could sell a coffin to a dead man!

Beating a man to death with a shovel 

A mistake commonly made by gardeners who can't tell a client from their garden.
Onlooker: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BEATING A MAN TO DEATH WITH A SHOVEL?

Gardener: What man?

Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis. 

A Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis is basically a Jewish man who wears a traffic cone; generally used in road work and diverting traffic, on his head which is the uppermost region of the human body. Whilst he masturbates his penis on the side of a Downtown LA street while 6 to 8 Muslims from the local mosque watch him smother ham on his penis
Jew 1: did you hear that Jewish man wearing a traffic cone on his head while beating his meat naked on the side of the street of downtown LA while 6 to 8 members of the local Mosque watch as he then proceeds to smother ham all over his penis.
Jew 2: No.

I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator 

Translates to I'm Josie, and 100 dollars is an understatement.
I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator is something you wouldn't say on a first date.

NATIONAL SEND A TWERK VID TO YOUR MAN DAY 

Send a twerking video(s) to your bf and make em happy on April 18
“Time to send a twerk vid to ya nikka”
time to bless ‘em
NATIONAL SEND A TWERK VID TO YOUR MAN DAY THANKZ FOR DA VID!!