Shit the tub Danny Trejo’s

When you have severe indigestion and your butt is farting without your permission. The urge to shit your pants is so bad but you’re using every bit of effort to hold it back. When you decide to release the demon, it sounds like pouring salsa into water. And when you look into the toilet from what you gave birth to, it looks like Danny Trejo’s face.

Bro, I ate a chimichanga from the local taqueria, I’ve had the shit the tub Danny Trejo’s for a week. I had to courtesy flush twice.

by JT Return of the Mack 9797 December 28, 2024

Holy Shit On A Shingle In The American President's Dick!

As the name suggests, "Holy Shit On A Shingle In The American President's Dick!," Is used to describe a holy piece of shit, blessed by a hooker, stuck on a shingle that was shoved up the American President's Dick hole, with the piece of shit still on the shingle.

President: "Hey! Look at my Dick!"

Person 1: "Holy Shit On A Shingle In The American President's Dick! There's a holy piece of shit on a shingle in the American President's dick hole!"

Person 2: "Hey... There is a holy piece of shit on a shingle in the American President's dick Hole! That's proper word use!"

by 0hsh1t December 25, 2022

Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?

Sir, I said it, sir!

Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? SIR I SAID IT SIR! Well ... no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!

by JSSRocket July 26, 2020

If the toilet's broken, shit outside.

A response to someone who never fails to find an excuse as to why something cannot be done.

Employee: "I'm waiting for IT to call me, my printer is broken. That's why I didn't print my report".

Manager: "We have more than one printer. If the toilet's broken, shit outside."

by micah June 19, 2010

oh shit! it's the poolice

what you say when you see a pig (only if you're as cool as megan leah and jen) (makers of the definition for megan (except jen, she wasnt there, she was at camp)) (we've had a long day)

*police car drives by on the x-rated walk home*

oh shit! it's the poolice

by spanky mcfarlen July 11, 2006

The Shit/Shower ratio

An unwritten rule of law that compels the gut-dropper to go no more than three bouts of shitting without taking a shower. The ratio is set such to allow for illness, camping, and general dirty arsed folk.

"I'm already on my third shower of the day. I knew I shouldn't have ordered that vindaloo"

"May I quickly use your shower? I went to that Brazilian All You Can Eat last night and I need to reset the shit/shower ratio"

"You shower quit a lot"
"Yeah, I'm lactose intolerant but still eat pizza"

"Your farts stink!"
"Yeah, sorry. I really need a shit but I'm at my limit with the shit/shower ratio and can't shower until the weekend"

by DrederickTatum June 2, 2023

THE SHIT SHE IS

An angry old man yelling at a caregiver that his wife needs. She is really in charge of the household and the disabled woman, but the old, old man craps, sneezes and spits all over the place trying to gain status.

"Hey, sir, the caregiver in charge said she is in charge of where the soup bowls go." "The shit she is," he replies!!!

"Hey, L.I.D., why don't you shower?" "Don't tell me what to do. I showered last week."

"Hey, pappy, why are you spitting in the sink? You're not allowed to do that, according to the lead caregiver in charge." "The shit she is in charge. I'll spit wherever I want to spit."

by cheesecake lady August 10, 2012