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Hector The Time Travelling Midget

A man from the year 2098 who was much different than the rest of the people at that time, for he was only 3' tall. Everyone else in the world was at the shortest about 5' 2". This troubled Hector cause he was always picked on and people would throw him around much like a football. It being the year 2098, time travel had already been invented about 23 years ago. Hector thought about using time travel to change history so that there would be more short people like him. After acquiring the means to travel through time (which cost him $18.75 on Ebay), Hector travelled back in time many times, but was always thwarted in his attempt to make more short people. After many attempts Hector finally travelled back to the Primordial Soup. The goo that started all life sat before him. Sitting and pondering what to do to change history, Hector came up with the grandest of schemes. "Ah ha!", said Hector. "I will contaminate this ooze with my own ooze.", Hector shouted with glee. After an intense one and a half minutes of self gratification (Everything is shorter for midgets), he dumped his load into the soup causing a mass fusion of his "little" genes into the normal genes. After many eons of Evolution, thanks to Hector's deeds, we have been blessed with many small creatures. This is how the Pterodactyl became the chicken. Its how the shark became the goldfish. Its also how we got actors like Verne Troyer. No one knows what happened to Hector. My thoughts are that since he fucked with the timeline he never came to be. Poor, poor Hector. All this to make a friend and he never even existed. The moral of the story, I guess, is to not throw hair dryers into the bathtub.
Dude 1: "Man I hate that show Little People Big World. Who the hell came up with that shit?"

Dude 2: "Its all made possible because of Hector The Time Travelling Midget."

Dude 1: "Damn you Hector, damn you."
by Supa' Dub T June 30, 2008
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high tailing

You jimmy was getting chased by the jake, I saw him high tailing round bleeker street
by Creboy November 29, 2013
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kite tailing

When a girl's tampon string hangs out of her underwear/bathing suit etc.
Did you see Sharon at the pool yesterday? She was kite tailing hardcore.
by Fraboli May 25, 2017
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Raccoon Tailing

A game where two people excrete a turd but force their sphincter to halt the expulsion of the turd mid-way, and proceed to sword fight with said excretory rods. The objective of the game is to knock the turd off the opponents' asshole.
Brad: Yo, I found a turd in the shower this morning. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Chad: Yo, my bad. Thad and I were fucked up and started raccoon tailing last night.
by partisanwarrior97 April 29, 2019
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taillights

when used in referring to oneself or one's group, this imperitive demands to leave the vicinity
"We're History! We're Taillights! Let's blow 'dis popstand!" or "Let's scram, doubletime, dude! We're History!"
by Dobe Doinat October 5, 2006
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Trilling

Tripping and chilling. To chill and get high with people.
Yeah I was trilling with my friends today.
by keepcalmandhitabong August 17, 2012
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Tabiling

tabilings used to have titan dicks
by chomuske June 9, 2021
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