newspaper condom

The plastic bag that your newspaper is delivered in, usually in times of inclement weather.

Mary saw it was raining outside and exclaimed, "Oh fuck! My newspaper is going to be ruined." However when she retrieved her paper, she noticed that the delievery boy had wrapped it in 2 newspaper condoms, keeping the paper dry and readable!

by Wordmaster Adam April 12, 2013

newspaper

1. A pastime for people while taking a shit.

2. To read the newspaper is a euphemism for taking a shit.

Oh crap...hold on, guys, I gotta go read the newspaper.

*toilet water splashes*

by KGtheKid December 25, 2008

newspaper job

Spending a prolonged amount of time in the bathroom taking a shit. Called a "newspaper job" because one commonly takes the paper along with them to read as they sit on the toilet

I ate so much for lunch that I know I'll have to do a newspaper job this afternoon.

by Libertine October 4, 2005

Newspaper queef

When the queef so fucking nasty it sounds like wet paper being flopped around like

Girl:flppspspspspps
Gary:damn nigga was that a newspaper queef?!

by Nigger poop June 19, 2019

altie newspaper

A newspaper or magazine that is a smaller alternative to more mainstream, "credible" papers. It's often local, providing inside dirt on things going on in a particular city or area. Sometimes, such as in the case of The Onion, it's published online (however, the Onion is satire as opposed to an actual news source). Some things reported in these papers are not taken seriously, but they often cover important stories bigger papers won't touch. Often liberal in nature, they will also often publish some awesome comics such as Tom Tommorow's "This Modern World" or Derf's "The City." However, these papers, are not meant for a family audience. While usually free, they pay for this by running a lot of sex ads and other inappropriate stuff.

"I wanted to find out about some local bands and read "The City", so I got a free copy of my local altie newspaper."

by andriod5 September 26, 2005

Victorian Newspaper Boy

A man whom enjoys having his face cummed upon.

Did you see Rick at the orgy last night? Talk about a Victorian Newspaper Boy…

by Hashbagpipe August 6, 2022

newspapering

The act of laying lots of newspapers in a persons yard at night while they are sleeping.

Stan "Hey man do you want to go newspapering?"
Kyle "Dude what the hell is that?"
Stan "Its like tping but with newspapers."

by Scipio Nightfire October 31, 2010