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Erectile Northfunction

A condition in which the penis becomes magnetized and will only point True North while erect. This disease is caused by a bacterial infection that, if untreated, can cause the penis to swell with a magnetic fluid, a byproduct of the bacterial growth.

Side effects include: Swelling of the penis, magnetic penile discharge, hives in the pubic region, an unquenchible thirst for sex.

The fluid will set off metal detectors and activate antitheft alarms at grocery stores.

A full recovery is possible if treatment is started early in the process, and requires monthes of physical therapy.
Rebecca sent Dean a DM; it was a booty call.

She waited for his response while lying on her queen-sized mattress in an oversized T-shirt, a Sara Bareilles song played from the blutooth speaker atop a stack of textbooks she was supposed to read. Her phone buzzed. Rebecca quickly tapped the message.

“Ok” the message read, “But we have to face North when we do it... My Doc said I got erectile Northfunction...”
by Varnpike August 2, 2018
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Erectile Disfunction

Men who cant stand up for their women if you know what I mean.
Wanna have sex? Nope got Erectile disfunction and cant have sex.
by Penis-Meister121 April 27, 2007
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erectile dysfunction

polite medical term for the condition where you can't maintain an erection sufficient for penetration intercourse to orgasm
I explained that I had erectile dysfunction so she gave me the best blow-job I ever had.
by Jake February 1, 2004
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Erectile Disfunction

the inabilaty to sport wood
by Big_T October 15, 2003
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erectile dis-wantment

When one goes flaccid not because of dysfunction, but because there is nothing desirable in that member of the opposite sex.
When I was drunk she was hot, but when I got more sober, I got a sudden case of erectile dis-wantment
by Jahoseaphat July 10, 2009
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pornlovian erectile dysfunction

Pornlovian erectile dysfunction is the Pavlovian effect with increasing tolerance to pornographic material on bio-mental arousal fuctions..functions
He watched so much porn dredged from the murky hulls of the DarkNet, he had full blown Pornlovian erectile dysfunction
by Freyjawired August 5, 2018
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Erectile Dyslexia

1. A medical condition in which a guy's penis is hard when turned off and limp and useless when turned on.
2. A term used to define a guy's love of complete uggos.
3. A nicer way(to some) of saying that someone has a screwy penis.
"Wow, that guy must have erectile dyslexia, because that chick is fat and wrinkly."
by Brodino June 2, 2009
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