The living God of No Selling, Steven Seagal has never been injured in any movie he has starred in. If you were to use it as an adjective, it would describe a situation were you were expected to get hurt, but came out without a scratch.
Person 1: "Whoa, you just Steven Seagalled that Car Wreck. It looks like everyone else involved is dead."
Person 2: "That's because I am Steven Seagal." (Breaks Person 1's Neck)
Person 2: "That's because I am Steven Seagal." (Breaks Person 1's Neck)
by Big E to the Z December 1, 2006
Get the Steven Seagal mug.A professional 80's pornstar who moved on to acting in the 90's. As soon as the 80's were over, he stopped making pornos just like THAT. Before his porno career he was a professional gay bodybuilder who occasionally dabbled in strongman competitions. He dominated that one where he lifts the boulder all over the place. While he was doing this, he often squinted and looked constipated, but doody would eventually drop out of his ass as he victoriously finished.
In his pornos he was most notoriously known for ponytail penetration. That is, he stuck his ponytail in some poontang. He inspired 2girls1cup with his 80's feature 2girls1ponytail. Many of his other scenes show him in the background beating off to 3 orgies: girl/girl, guy/girl, guy/guy. His most famous pornos are "Aikido in a Speedo" and "Out for an Orgy". In the former he is seen dancing around with pigtails wearing a pink speedo in front of many Japanese girls. He got banned from the porno industry for snapping the necks of too many co-stars. Seagal also forgets to wipe after he takes a dump. He just uses the residue as a quick source of hair gel. His action movie career was most impressive. He does an excellent job as the antagonist in Kindergarten Cop and he also plays as that one convict in ConAir. He's the convict with the ponytail who is burned by Cyrus The Virus for stealing his plane. It's false to say he is fat because he was absolutely RIPPED in out for a kill.
In his pornos he was most notoriously known for ponytail penetration. That is, he stuck his ponytail in some poontang. He inspired 2girls1cup with his 80's feature 2girls1ponytail. Many of his other scenes show him in the background beating off to 3 orgies: girl/girl, guy/girl, guy/guy. His most famous pornos are "Aikido in a Speedo" and "Out for an Orgy". In the former he is seen dancing around with pigtails wearing a pink speedo in front of many Japanese girls. He got banned from the porno industry for snapping the necks of too many co-stars. Seagal also forgets to wipe after he takes a dump. He just uses the residue as a quick source of hair gel. His action movie career was most impressive. He does an excellent job as the antagonist in Kindergarten Cop and he also plays as that one convict in ConAir. He's the convict with the ponytail who is burned by Cyrus The Virus for stealing his plane. It's false to say he is fat because he was absolutely RIPPED in out for a kill.
by WAFFLESTOMPER666 October 20, 2008
Get the Steven Seagal mug.Me> damn, steven seagal is the fucking man
Retard> that guy is a shitty actor and his movies su-
Steven Seagal> -appears out of nowhere and swiftfully executes a flawless move, paralyzing the un-wise one from the back down-
Me> thanks, steven
Steven Seagal> no problemo -dissapears-
Retard> that guy is a shitty actor and his movies su-
Steven Seagal> -appears out of nowhere and swiftfully executes a flawless move, paralyzing the un-wise one from the back down-
Me> thanks, steven
Steven Seagal> no problemo -dissapears-
by GOERNR January 17, 2006
Get the steven seagal mug.When you shit in a white tube sock and then proceed to recklessly beat people with it like Steven Seagal in his prime.
Will burst out of the water closet and proceeded to Steven Seagal Jacob, leaving a trail of feces behind him.
by Butt-Fart Jackson October 13, 2011
Get the Steven Seagal mug.the Jewish form of the name Steve. Usually all Segals are known to be huge dickwads, who think they're great at everything, in reality they suck. He also usually is very cheap and unreasonable, some say slightly retarded.
by AcesInTheBig April 11, 2011
Get the Steve Segal mug.An actor who is funnier to use in "Chuck Norris jokes" instead of Chuck Norris simply beacause the fact of that he is more awesome.
He is good friends with Jackie Chan.
He speaks fluent japanese
He is an Aikido master of 7th dan.
He owns a dojo in japan.
He is almost always seen in a ponytail.
He is the greatest man alive.
Besides making badass action movies, Steven Seagal also plays the guitar and sings. And of course he's in a band.
He is good friends with Jackie Chan.
He speaks fluent japanese
He is an Aikido master of 7th dan.
He owns a dojo in japan.
He is almost always seen in a ponytail.
He is the greatest man alive.
Besides making badass action movies, Steven Seagal also plays the guitar and sings. And of course he's in a band.
Steven Seagal doesn't care what time it is, he decides what time it is.
Everytime boogieman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris, however every time Chuck Norris goes to bed he checks his under his bed, inside his closet, outside his window, in the living room, kitchen and in his garage for Steven Seagall.
Steven Seagal: The secret is not to act, but to be.
Everytime boogieman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris, however every time Chuck Norris goes to bed he checks his under his bed, inside his closet, outside his window, in the living room, kitchen and in his garage for Steven Seagall.
Steven Seagal: The secret is not to act, but to be.
by Kniv April 15, 2009
Get the Steven Seagal mug.A porno involving Steven Seagal. Some famous pornos of him were Out for an Orgy, Hard to Penetrate, and Buddha or Bust. In these pornos, Steven Seagal is most known for dropping up to a gallon of semen on Japanese girls when the scene is almost over. That's assuming he doesn't choke them out first. You'll know for sure that you're watching a Steven Seagal porno if you hear crazy techno music in the background - music you can only dance to in a speedo. Most of these were made in the 80's but there are a few that were made past 1990 and even into the 2000s!
In short, it's a porno featuring Steven Seagal as the star.
In short, it's a porno featuring Steven Seagal as the star.
Well I spent my Thursday evening watching a Steven Seagal Porno. It was the one where he goes into the gym wearing only his underwear and fucks every girl in the cardio section except for this obese one.
by Nosferatu1488 March 12, 2010
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