Edgar Allan Poe

An american writer that is arguable the best poet in the history of the world. He also had the shittiest childhood ever. His mom got married when she was 16, when he was born his dad left him. His mom was an actor and played Juliet in Romeo and Juliet 8 times a week. Edgar watched his mother "fake" kill herself when he was 1, 2, and 3. His mother then died of consumption, and he watched her die. He then was adopted by a nice lady and a dick father. He actually fell in love with the lady, so the dad got jealous. Then that lady died of consumption, and the asshole father kicked edgar on the street. He then went to college and was a raging alcoholic and drug user. His birth-right aunt then found him and adopted him. He fell in love with his 10 and a half year old first cousin. Then his aunt died of consumption. So he married his first cousin, then became famous for his poem "The Raven". Then his young wife also died of consumption. However, he later became famous and was invited to write for a New York fat cat and earn lots of money. On the train there he stopped in Baltimore. Two guys grabbed him and got him drink off of hard lemonade, and they left him in the gutter while he was in a coma. He went to the hospital and died. Now if anyone does not agree that he had the shittiest life, you must be one sorry son of a bitch.

Basically:
His mom died, his adopted mom died, his wife died, his aunt died, his second wife died and then he died. So, that sucks.
Edgar Allan Poe

by Bozbozbozbozbzozbozzboz April 12, 2010

Flag

Get the Edgar Allan Poe mug.

The Poe Toaster

The "Poe Toaster" is a mysterious figure that arrives at the location of Edgar Allan Poe's grave in Baltimore, every year. He or she has done this at the same time since 1949, early on the morning of his birthday, on January 19th. The "Poe Toaster", dressed in black, with a black overcoat and scarf around their face, enters the gates of the Westminster Hall and Burying Grounds, proceeds to Poe's grave and upon reaching it, toasts the grave with a half-bottle of cognac and leaves three blood-red roses.

Nobody has ever tried to talk to or interupt the figure that appears every year as a sign of respect both to Poe and to the "Poe Toaster", nobody knows who he/she is, but it is commonly thought it is simply a fan of Edgar's work. The "Poe Toaster" has often left messages behind on paper such as "Edgar, I haven't forgotten you" and in 2001 "The New York Giants. Darkness and decay and the big blue hold dominion over all. The Baltimore Ravens. A thousand injuries they will suffer. Edgar Allan Poe evermore."

If you don't belive in the Poe Toaster, go and see him for yourself on January 19th 2006!

by I am NOT the Toaster September 8, 2005

Flag

Get the The Poe Toaster mug.

gettin’ poe’d

When you let a girl put three fingers in your butt hole and you cum so hard it shoots over the ceiling fan

I was Gettin’ Poe’d when it landed on my face and the dog licked it off

by Edgar Allen Poe’d May 11, 2018

Flag

Get the gettin’ poe’d mug.

edgar allen poe

The incorrect spelling of Edgar Allan Poe. Often times used by so-called fans that have no idea what they're talking about.

Dumb kid: i am so goth! i read Edgar Allen Poe!!!!!

Smart kid: Yes, Edgar Allan Poe was, in my opinion, the greatest poet ever known to exist.

by Rebekah Rebel July 12, 2005

Flag

Get the edgar allen poe mug.

Poe Dameron

Poe Dameron is a pilot in the beautiful Star Wars sequels. He has a flight-jacket that has been given to his..."friend" Finn (FN-2187). The truth is, he is slightly, or very, gay.

Look at stormpilot.

Oh, and btw, Finnrey ain't gonna happen ;).

Person 1: OMG! Poe Dameron is kyute! I hope he ends up with Rey!
Person 2: You kiddin' me? Poe Dameron is gay! He bit his lip at Finn!

by Stickyyy fingers June 9, 2018

Flag