Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.
Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016
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When a person smokes enough marijuana to feel its effects, but not enough to alter competence at regular daily tasks or create a lasting low after the effects have worn off.
Becoming functionally high is a skill that comes naturally for some, and for others takes a long time to develop and master.
Becoming functionally high is a skill that comes naturally for some, and for others takes a long time to develop and master.
Person 1: I just got some killer bud from a friend of mine. Wanna smoke?
Person 2: Ok, but I have work in an hour. I guess I'll go in functionally high.
Person 2: Ok, but I have work in an hour. I guess I'll go in functionally high.
by DJAlexxander September 8, 2011
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Get the fully functional mug.When you use a vape (mflb) to smoke bud and it hit's just right and you are able to go out and be high with people around, but no one notices.
Person: Dude how are you able to go out a be yourself and still be high?
Me: I use a (mflb) and it hit's just right, so it gives me a functional high.
Me: I use a (mflb) and it hit's just right, so it gives me a functional high.
by Andy'sCandy October 9, 2016
Get the functional high mug.When somebody is pissed off, for whatever reason at urban dictionary, they will call it urban fucktionary
Jimmy: Hey man, what's up?
Spike: Don't talk to me Jimmy, I'm pissed off cuz I caught my woman with another man
Jimmy: Well here's something that'll cheer you up, do you know what an Alabama firedragon is?
Spike: I don't care, is that something you found on urban fucktionary? Get a life, loser
Spike: Don't talk to me Jimmy, I'm pissed off cuz I caught my woman with another man
Jimmy: Well here's something that'll cheer you up, do you know what an Alabama firedragon is?
Spike: I don't care, is that something you found on urban fucktionary? Get a life, loser
by Mr. FuckOff December 21, 2009
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