The Crème Brulee Dessert

You are in the wilderness with your lady. You build a nice, romantic fire to keep her warm and hand her a beer. She cuddles in for warmth. You accept and cuddle back. You are not romantic, this is a set up for an monumental Crème Brule (burnt cream) Dessert.

As she feels warm and loved, you use this to your advantage and push for BJ by the aptly roaring fire. She cannot say no and begins to blow you like a Missouri tornado. As soon as you are about to bust, you pull out without telling her and unleash a thick, healthy splattering if jizz all over her face. Before she can do anything, you grab her head and hold it as close to the fire as you can so as to not burn her but rather for the jizz to gently harden over her face. Once she has been glazed over, you pull her away for the fire, let her cool a moment and gently tap the hardened jizz glaze on her face with your dick, not unlike a crème brule with a spoon.

Note – this does not have to be done with a fire, you can also use a radiator, hot plate, etc.

So I was with Mindy the other night. Took her out past Old Bear Road and down by Brawny Creek. Had a cooler full of Millers and started a nice campfire to get her twatt a soppin’. Worked like a charm. Next thing you know, she is sucking me off like a white collar criminal doing hard time with murderers. Well, I pull out my cock and drop a mother load of bag yogurt all over her unsuspecting face. Before she has a chance, I grab her, hold her close to the fire and glaze that jizz over her gub until it forms a nice little crust. Then I pulled her away to let her cool and tapped that crust with my cock till it cracked, like a fancy ass The Crème Brulee Dessert.

by madmarkfromthetdot October 11, 2012

Dessertification

When you slurp banana pudding out of your partner's anus.

When I used the Dessertification position on your Mom, she mooed like a cow!

by KennyLing January 23, 2017

dessimated

when you break your ancles in 10 different ways

Kimmy K put on 6 inch high heels and totally just dessimated! You should have seen it!

by Ham Slice February 26, 2017

Sarah Dessen

author of many teenage fiction books. one of which, was made into the movie How to Deal starring Mandy Moore

Have you read Someone Like You?

by veggieness April 3, 2005

Dessertarian

A person who only eats desserts, especially for sanity, moral, religious or health reasons. A dessertarian may or may not abstain from the consumption of other foods. A dessertarian is sometimes seen as hangry. Women (and some men) of all ages may practice dessertarianism as a fad diet or when trying to overcome heartbreak.

Friend 1: Have you seen Sarah lately? She keeps posting pictures on instagram of desserts, it's like she eats nothing but sweets...
Friend 2: Yeah I know. She's a dessertarian.

by Queen_W May 15, 2015

dessicunt

A dessicunt is any material that when applied inside the vagina, dries it out completely.

"That wad of cotton was an outstanding dessicunt, now my cunny is dry like the Mojave..."

by MingeV. May 8, 2014

Dessertarianism

The practice of eating only desserts, especially for sanity, moral, religious or health reasons. Dessertarianism is prominently practiced by women during heartbreaks. A person who practice in Dessertarianism is commonly known as a Dessertarian.

Friend 1: Do you have any special dietary requirement?
Friend 2: Yea, I'm a dessertarian.
Friend 1: What does that mean?
Friend 2: I realised that when I broke up with Peter, the only thing that cheered me up was eating desserts. So I've been practicing dessertarianism every since.
Friend 1: You realised you'll get fat right?
Friend 2: That's future me's problem.

by Queen_W May 15, 2015