ticket insurance

The one car going faster than you when you're speeding on the freeway. The general idea is that you can go as fast as you want as long as the other guy is going faster, that way if a cop sees you both speeding he will pull over the other guy and not you.
Wow, I'm going 80 in the fast lane and this jackass just zoomed past me. Ticket insurance!
by The 5th Floor December 16, 2012
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just the ticket

very suitable and exactly what is needed
This tool is just the ticket!
by manfred.ackermann December 20, 2017
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Mets tickets

New York City mayor bill deblasio failed bail reform program where criminals are given free mets tickets, gift cards, and other amenities as an incentive for them to show up to court.
He slashed 4 people in the Bronx, punched two Asian women in the nyc subway, was finally arrested, but was quickly released without bail and given mets tickets in hopes he shows up to court for his hearing.
by gabbagooo February 20, 2021
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Jizz Tickets

A plain, simple, preferably cheap although not too cheap or it sticks to the skin roll of toilet paper cleverly hidden in one's room for usage of cleaning up one's mess proceeding a successful wanking.
"Where has internet porn been all my life?! . . . Also, where are the Jizz Tickets?. . ."
by adem g September 08, 2013
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Gas ticket

Irish slang for a very funny person
by Irishgal2000 December 27, 2021
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Speeding Ticket

(NOUN): A summons issued to a coworker or employee when they screw up a task because of task saturation. Or a summons your spouse issues to you for screwing something up even though you are managing a thousand things correctly.
e.g., 1) My boss keeps giving me more sh*t to do just so he can give me a speeding ticket for messing up a task. 2) My wife is always giving me speeding tickets when I screw up and when I give her a speeding ticket, she always figures out how to turn it around and issue the speeding ticket back at me.
by Barely Managing February 13, 2023
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Snow ticket

An oblong snowball used use for wiping your asshole after taking a shit in the woods when there is no toilet paper.
by The Slane April 02, 2017
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