bert

The funniest youtuber in the world who primarily makes short Spongebob YouTube Poops. He makes the characters say different things from the original episode usually resulting in a sexual reference such as when he made Mr. Krabs say "get that suit on sailor! It's already been cummed on!" instead of the original, "it's already been paid for!", in the episode where Pearl takes over the Krusty Krab and gives them the crazy onesie uniforms where Squidward says, "rage, fury, irritation, humiliation,". That's just one hilarious example. He is a talented voice actor who gets the character's voices almost spot on and also manipulates the speeds and movements of the characters to make them look like they're saying what he wants them to say. Most of his videos have been taken down unfortunately due to Viacom saying that he was violating copyright laws. He has about 60,000 subscribers.

Squidward: "Now, repeat after me! bert's edits are so good!"
Spongebob: "bert's edits suck dick!"
Squidward: "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" (throws mirror)

by HouCou2003 November 3, 2022

Bert Squirt

The same exact technique as giving a woman the shocker. But the person giving the Bert Squirt is missing part of their pinky finger. Therefore instead of " Two in the pink and one in the stink", it is Two in the pink and half in the stink. This technique is satisfying to both partners because the partner on the receiving end is enjoying a half pinky with no fingernail being lodged up her butthole, while the partner on the giving end is feeling the woman's stink wrinkles pucker like a hummingbird heart all over his damaged nerve endings sending them both into squirt mode.

I gave my wife the Bert squirt last night, now the ceiling in our bedroom looks like a jackson pollock painting with a black light on!

by Chingycheeze August 20, 2021

bert kaempfert

Bert Kaempfert conducted a jazz orchestra and wrote many famous songs. He recorded from 1958 to 1980. His career as a conductor began in post-war Germany, where he heard the GI's V- discs, and decided to make similar music, using his considerable education in music.

Bert Kaempfert's Original Gold Records include "Wonderland by Night" and "Moon Over Naples (Spanish Eyes)."

by F.A.S. November 25, 2013

Bert Kreischer sit-ups

A highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

Bert

*Bert*
_Bert /bɜ t/ n. (Rhyming slang)_

* The grand finale where an artiste, giving a rhythmic performance from behind, pulls his hampton out at just the right moment to unload his gentleman's relish all over his partner's back, as in the unforgettable style of legendary singer-songwriter Bert Batterbach.

(To spunk up someones back)

I was giving her a good un from behind, then just as I got my wizard’s shoes on, I whipped it out and gave her the full Bert

by doctornellie May 28, 2025

Bert Kreischer sit-ups

Bert Kreischer sit-ups is a highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

…those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

Bert

A fucking madlad of a bunny rabbit with no fucking limit

I fucking live Bert the nutter

by bertlover January 5, 2019