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Power-reading

To read an extremely large document in a very short amount of time. Time to page ratio: one page a minute. If you are really pressed for time: two pages a minute.
It was 1:00 p.m. and I just realized that I had a 38 page reading assignment for my class at 2:00. I found myself power-reading so fast that my vision went black for a second.
by Charger 69 & Patches February 16, 2010
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Burn After Reading

This is usually added at the end of an e-mail.
Mostly used in confidential mails and letters.
Critical information and other government agencies use this at the end of e-mails or letters.
EXAMPLE

(content xxx
xxxxx content)

-regards
xx

Please B.A.R (Burn After Reading)
by AL~agu February 25, 2011
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Christian Science Reading Room

Bob spent a good deal of time in the christian science reading room after eating that bad shellfish.
by roqlobstr September 21, 2011
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I'm reading your mail

A phrase used to express an understanding of the main points of an argument. Synonymous with phrases like "I get it", "gotcha" or " I know what you're saying".
"I'm reading your mail dude ... loud and clear".
by ilam nebrann August 29, 2010
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the girl reading this

Guy 1: Sah dude. U ever seen an angel?
Guy 2: Naw bruh. U?
Guy 1: Hell yeah mayn!
Guy 2: Whom’st’dv’th’m’ may i ask?
Guy 1: The Girl Reading This of course
by TheGuyReadingThis February 1, 2018
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Haha u are gay
“If you are reading this you are gay
“Darn I’m gay now”
by Niggagaming123 September 18, 2020
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Mind reading

Mind reading is a way to explore the minds of anothers. You have a secret sexual fantasy? Whether it be those divine twins who work in the sandwich shop down the road, or dressing up as Nanamis Gouri and being licked by traffic wardens, just find someone who has done it and suck the experience right out of their brains. Presto, you might as well have done it yourself! Anyone can be a mind-reader, and of course sexual gratification is not the only use it can be put to. Many people, including babies, have learned the skill and use it on a day-to-day basis, although in the case of infants, nobody knows what use they put the knowledge to.

The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.

There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:

Lower rank mind reader

These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.

Über mind reader

You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.

How to learn mind reading

The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?

And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
“Why bother if you already know what I'm going to say?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Mind reading
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
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