When you test positive for COVID-19, so you wait until nighttime and go house to house, sneezing into everyone's air conditioners. Despite the name, this is most effective in the summertime.
by lerogers7 December 9, 2020

An elderly and obese guy that delivers billions of presents to people around the world. How does he get the presents? Why, he forces millions of elves in green costumes with way too large hats to make the presents.
by idkwhatnametoputhere August 4, 2024

A disgusting pedophile and pervert that watches children every year. Not only does watch children, but he also has the largest child porn collection in the world. Santa Claus has been arrested and charged for the possession of child pornography. He has been sentenced to life imprisonment with no parole. And the bars in his jail cell will be strong, so there’s no way for him to get out.
by PrivateUsernameClear June 11, 2022

by ayo?99 December 27, 2021

The only known person with immunity to diabetes and obesity-related death. He’s normally found in malls around Christmas time scaring the living crap out of children.
Timmy: How does Santa Claus get around so quickly with all those cookies in his tummy?
Mom: You’d be fast too if the police kept trying to track you down for breaking and entering.
Mom: You’d be fast too if the police kept trying to track you down for breaking and entering.
by Inferior April 22, 2020
