Baltimore

The real America. A place of growing optimism amid unprecedented opportunity. A cultural scene that rivals New York's - from live bands to high art. A sports scene that's the envy of the North-East. Best hospitals in the world. Educational facilities that European cities try to imitate. Steeped in history. Gentle climate, with neither the harsh New York winter nor the stifling DC summer. And, of course, there are the CRABS!!!!! CRAB CAKES!!! CRAB DIP!!! You have not had crab until you've had Baltimore crab. But here's the real secret of Baltimore: you can live here for cheap - and I mean CHEAP. Public transport is excellent and inexpensive. Rents are tiny, considering the rates in DC, or even Laurel. If ever you tire of crab, dine at Gertrude's Restaurant and enjoy WORLD-CLASS cuisine for prices you would expect to pay at a diner anywhere else. And you can BUY BEAUTIFUL HOMES for a fraction of the price you would pay for a modest condo in D.C. or N.Y. I moved to Baltimore from Brooklyn, New York. For the price of an apartment there (a full hour's commute to my job in Manhattan) I could have purchased a mansion in Baltimore. My commute to DC is already easy; the planned improvements to the MARC (commuter) rail service will make it even more convenient. For these reasons this city is beginning to sky-rocket, even at a time when the national economy is tanking. Once the MARC upgrade is complete, and the country's economy has recovered, Baltimore willl be boomtown, USA. Even now, Baltimore rocks!

What recession? Life is better in Baltimore.

by Sandra Strand February 6, 2008

Baltimore Ham

A slang term used for "watermellon" It is somewhat racist towards black people, implying that they cannot afford real ham, and that they have watermellon a lot.

Black Child: daddy can we please have ham for dinner
Black Man: sry sugar we cant afford a real ham. we'll have some watermellon and fried chicken instead. That stuffs baltimore ham!

by HorseLoverTry5 April 13, 2009

Baltimore

A city that deserves every bad thing said about it but not necessarily because of the crime. It provides all the stress and problems of living in a major city with none of the benefits like good public transportation, good services, late night food, culture, modern infrastructure, and smart people. The reason Baltimore has so many problems is because it is filled with provincial fucks who have never lived anywhere else, especially a real city like Chicago, New York, or Philly. Thus, they think Baltimore is the greatest place on earth because all they can compare it to is the Eastern Shore, the one place they all go every year for a "vacation". It is amazing these small minded people can't even leave their tiny state once a year during the summer.

Along with Faidley's crabcakes, the staggering amount of backwards thinking and ignorance that is evenly distributed among those from all socioeconomic backgrounds makes Baltimore worth a visit. It is a sight to see. Just make sure to watch your back and get out quickly before you get hit on the head, mugged, and wake up five months later not remembering how you even got to Baltimore. FFS do not move anywhere near that shit hole. You will regret it.

Hey a great job just opened up in downtown Baltimore dude. You gonna apply?

No, I'd rather eat out Bea Arthur's dead cunt than move to that awful place.

by McNulty's Whiskey July 17, 2011

Baltimoron

Somebody who uses excessive baltimorese, hon.

The O in the Anthem is just a tradition.

by RandomSegaFanboy August 21, 2004

baltimore car jacking

The act of someone taking a shit in someone eles's car.

I was the victom of a baltimore car jacking! He said he could not hold it.

by Slap Happy September 17, 2006

Baltimore Pizza Roll

An Arab form of sex in which a woman deeply shoves her nails in a guy's penis hole, repeatedly shoves it up and down, and then delicately licks the never ending flow of blood from his dick as if the sauce of a pizza roll.

Angelina gave her boyfriend an unsuspecting baltimore pizza roll which made him orgasm profusely.

by lickdapussay April 25, 2015

Baltic

Norn Irish slang for it being freezing cold.

"Stick a coat on ye, it's baltic out there!"

by Frank314 November 30, 2016