John Reese

A certified badass. He is a kind, compassionate person when you know him, but he's done some terrible things that he wants to forget. He's protective of the innocent, and never tolerates wife abusers.

Spoiler - He also dies in the most badass way possible: filled with dozens of bullets and then getting blown up by a ballistic missile while saving the world

"That guy in the suit is kinda scary and whispers a lot, his name must be John Reese"

by Housel June 2, 2021

John’s Hair

Something that would go on everyone’s trophy wall if they ever got their hands on it. Just a strand of the hair would release all of the cum in all men in a 50 mile radius. women want to have all of the seggs with anyone who has John’s hair

Oh man your pants have so much cum in them!

I know I just saw John’s Hair

Oh shit I just nutted to the thought of it

Omg same. Want to have seggs?

Ok

by my_name_is_max January 29, 2021

John Cena

A ccp spy.

Oh hey, that foreign tourist seems to be taking photos of the U.S. embassy. I suspect that he is a john cena

by Arthur J December 9, 2021

John Bird

Why the fuck did you look up your own name in the urban dictionary.

John Bird is a fucking dumbass

by John's a bitch (ak50) May 20, 2021

John P'ing

To drive trucks, and or fuck fat bitcges

I was with my friend and he was totally John P'ing

by Tdubxxx December 4, 2019

John Gomez

Guitarist for Twin XL. A gay icon that drinks a lot of iced coffee. He's very energetic, probably because of all the iced coffee. Wears a lot of Vans and probably lives in a Topman store. He's a very spinny boy on stage, and on the occasion chews furiously on guitar picks. If you ever encounter a wild John Gomez, feel free to compliment his pants. He loves pants.

"That dude's come back for like 4 iced coffees, is he gonna be ok?"
"Yea, that's just John Gomez. Pretty sure he hasn't slept for like 3 days."

by emoapple December 8, 2019

john lettuce

when someone blows air out of their nose at such a super sonic speed that a lone snotty bogey flies out of their nasal cavity. its called john lettuce because it looks like lettuce and john is a funny name.

friend: *breathes out of their nose but really hard*
me: "thats a fucking john lettuce."

by gruzzish October 23, 2023