Texas Turtles

Another name for bed bugs.

Don’t you know that hotel is prime territory of Texas Turtles?

by Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov May 23, 2018

Parking turtle

A parking turtle is the concrete block at the end of a parking spot that prevents you from driving too far

“Careful not to hit the parking turtle”

by yubaruby August 9, 2021

Psychedelic Turtle

A deviant sex act where a man is receiving a blow job and also has a turd about to drop, cumming and shitting at the same time.

Jeff was blown away by the psychedelic turtle that Jane gave him

by DeviantSex July 18, 2019

Turtle

A Turtle is someone that is usually very clumsy both physically and mentally. They are very vhirpy people but they knock over drinks and ashtrays a lot. When playing board ganes with a Turtle they will constantly need reminded of the rules to the point where you feel the need to spaz-moan and start slapping your face in disbelief. Turtles can also be great Ice Breakers as they can withstand constant barrages of comedic mockery from all angles due to their impenetrable shell.

Whilst playing snakes and ladders, Bobby rolled a 5 and went up a snake... Thinking he was only 3 squares from winning, Bobby was pumped.

^Bobby is an absolute Turtle"
"OMFG Dude You are such a Turtle!"

by StrudlePie June 2, 2018

Snapping turtle

Sex position, involves having sex with only the protruding head of a turtle (usually of the snapping variety). Bonus points if the shell vibrates.

Abby: Dude why are you bleeding like that

Kate: I tried the snapping turtle at the lake and it didn’t go well

by Lakelesbos69 August 30, 2021