madturbating 

Making nothing but angry, troll posts on the internet to get an ego boost and/or literally to get off on being a jerk.

Do you realize how much of your life you've wasted madturbating to "liberals"?

madturbating by EnbySithLord January 7, 2023

Masturbirding 

Birds outside a couple's house jerking off by watching and listening to them have sex.

Person 1: Those birds have been so noisy since we started boning!
Person 2: I think they're masturbirding...

Masturbirding by H4XOR13 March 26, 2023

Musturbating 

When a male wishes to partake in single-handed autoeroticism, however they have run out of lubricant such as lotion. In this case, they use mustard as a substitute for lubricant.

"Mom! Q is musturbating again!"
"Goddamnit don't you have any lotion???"

Musturbating by mew0mori January 13, 2024

Masterbasting

Sweating profusely under blankets where you wake up soaked due to trapped sweat in fabric.

I lost 10 pounds masterbasting last night to work dreams of me and my supervisor.

Masterbasting by chuckg March 25, 2026