colon slap

When you evacuate your colon so fast that the intestinal walls slap together and cause pain.

The condition usually occurs after consuming bulk fiber or Pho noodles that act like a sort of turd rebar. The vacuum created by eliminating this exceptionally long and fat fiber dumpling at high speed causes the colon walls to collapse and impact each other.

You: Boss, I have to leave work because I've just had an instance of colon slap.

Boss: Okay, have a craptastic day and cut back on the Pho noodles and bulk fiber.

by Capt Craptastic May 14, 2010

Colon Crown

Someone who is such an asshat that they are king of the asshats or asshat nobility. Clearly because they are wearing their colon like a crown.

My boss is not just an asshat, he's king of the asshats a real colon crown.

by GreenBird23 May 18, 2011

colon wrecker

A penis that has the ability to go so far inside of a female in sexual intercourse, that it makes the females colon or other internal organs slightly ache, itch, or bleed (maybe bleed if it's a 2 meter beater)

Megan: I hooked up with a guy last night, and he had a colon wrecker.
Julie: No way! How do you feel?
Megan: It was great, but my colon feels a little achy

by SeahawksFan24 March 27, 2016

Colon tattoo

If you are 18 years old and you like wieners in your colon you also like anal sex then you have a colon tattoo. What usually comes after this tattoo is a 3 dot tattoo which means you like double penetration.

Ooooo I see you have a colon tattoo Maria wanna go have butt sex.

by Mrs. humpalot March 25, 2023

kebab Colonic

When you eat a Kebab that really just cleans you out!

"god that kebab really fucked me over, iv been in the toilet all morning, absolute Kebab Colonic"

by Gandis March 9, 2010

colon comet

When a man, and another man are engaged in sex. Before the "pitcher" orgasms, he gapes his partner's asshole and dumps in a can of diet Coke and mentos before ejaculating into his partner's anus.

Holy shit Bartholomew! Your stretchy asshole is perfect for a colon comet!

by Drillmaster June 8, 2019

colon carnage

The horrid sensation one experiences when having a bowel movement in which the liquified sloppy hot butt mud races violently towards its goal, destroying any and all organisms within one's intestinal tract as it flows towards porcelain heaven.

bro, sorry about your toilet. I experienced some major colon carnage.

by cockbroccoli November 27, 2011