a nigel danger wank
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
by mrs tosser October 7, 2025
Get the a nigel danger wank..... mug.on the 10th october every year it’s the time where u hunt down the nice photos ur ex sent you and have a great time to them and maybe even text her
by hwggg October 9, 2025
Get the national wank over ex day mug.when you don’t have all the ingredients for sex on the beach ,settle for what you’ve already got, have a wank on the beach
by CocktailKing67 October 13, 2025
Get the wank on the beach mug.When you or a loved one uses a stick of buttery (preferably slightly melted) as lubrication to jerk off.
by LMSnih October 14, 2025
Get the Buttery Wank mug.when your having a wank just before blowing your mayonnaise load, shout out Mum!!!!(diseased and rotting). bring my dinner up please, then try and finish the job before she gets into your room
by mrs tosser October 19, 2025
Get the a nigel suicide speed wank mug.A person that gets off on discussing bureaucratic policy topics and sounding really technical and they might as well be jerking off but instead they get REALLY into policy chats. Also known as the aides to members of parliament and legislature who actually write the policies *and* the speaking points that politicians read off in formal political meetings.
Also related: Political circle jerk.
Also related: Political circle jerk.
I don't know if I have it in me to hit the bar after work today I think it'll just be a bunch of policy wanking
by policywank November 7, 2025
Get the Policy Wank mug.by British slang teacher November 14, 2025
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