Wank Holiday

To bunk of work unauthorised so that you can lie in bed all day jerking off to Anime porn.

Employee: Good day
Boss: Oy, I know you had a wank holiday yesterday!

by LordJenal August 28, 2022

Emergency Wank

Usually in a very stressful, indecisive situation one will decide to go have wank before making any vital decisions.

*Right before an exam*
Yo, Vlad, where are you going?
I am gonna go quickly to the bathroom!
To do what?
*whispers* To have an emergency wank, I cannot think straight, I need to let some steam off!
Alright, go ahead!

by wanking May 11, 2017

Wanking the dog

To waste time doing something unecessary.

Example: Gary got fired for wanking the dog.

by PotsNPan July 16, 2021

Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024

Wanked

1. hitting or getting hit by something
2. another word for using that good ole hand of yours

1. Jim: "woah I think I just got wanked by something"
John: "oh man did it hurt"
Jim: "nah wasn't too wanky"
2. Alvin: "hey what did you do yesterday"
Jason: "oh I just wanked off most the night"
Alvin: "oh same"

by dontgetwanked May 30, 2017

1984 Wank

When the you don't have access to porn so you have to use your imagination to masturbate.

Person 1: 'The battery went on my phone while I was trying to find some porn!'

Person 2: 'Gutted for you'

Person 1: 'It's okay I just had a 1984 wank instead. Takes a bit longer but gets the job done.'

by Phillyfella July 22, 2021

Travel Wank

Carrying genitals or sexual
Pleasure toys on the go, prepared impromptu wank on the go.

Travel wanking is a wank on the go.

by Acidbbq March 19, 2022