Bacon Turtle

A Turtle, usually a King Turtle of the Royal Turtle Guard. Also a word for assorted meats shaped like a turtle.

A Bacon Turtle loves bacon and spreads the word and belief of Bacon. Bacon Turtles and Turtles alike are enemies of the Panda Army and the Penguin Union. The King Bacon Turtle was defeated at The Puffin-Koala Gap by the Pan-da Warriors in PANDA 7 (Panda Years), and he later retreated to plot an all-out war on the Panda Army. The Bacon Turtle and his Royal Turtle Guard is no match for the Elite Pan-da Warriors.

The Bacon Turtle began at a humble little wood building on the corner of a busy street, titled: Bacon Turtle & Associates. They sold chocolate-covered bacon and bacon shaped like turtles. Since then, they have grown into a legitomato army. The Bacon Turtle and his associates are the exclusive members of the I Don't Care Club. The Turtle Motto is "Viva la Bacon, TGIF" (Long Live Bacon, Thank God It's Friday).

Bacon Turtle: Kneel before your almighty ruler, the Bacon Turtle!
Panda: No.
Bacon Turtle: Then you will face a life of bacon deprivation. Take him away, Royal Turtle Guard!
Panda: Is this some sort of torture, because I'm not addicted to bacon...
Bacon Turtle: Are you insulting my religion? Do you wish to say that you are against bacon? You will be locked in a room with bacon!
Panda: Free bacon is fine with me...

Epic Meal Time: We're cooking up some BACON, AND TURTLES! THAT MEANS BACON TURTLES!

by Panda Army Representative January 16, 2014

two dollar turtle sundae

When two individuals otherwise strangers hook up via a Facebook comment feed and agree to meet to get their nuts fudgey.

I never knew why I was on Facebook until my first two dollar turtle sundae.

by Please and thank you November 10, 2017

Turtle Racing

Three fuckers spread out across the entire highway going the same speed not allowing anyone to pass.

Man those fuckers where turtle racing on the way here, I wanted to kill myself

by muahahaha6942069 December 3, 2024

Turtle Lei

this is a correction of grammer and name for the one that was posted before this one

Turtle Lei stands for short, small eyes, gamer raging trash player at almost any game he plays

random dude: headshots with AK in a perfectly normal way that does not require an explaination to know how he headshoted him
turtle lei: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HACKER IMA GO REPORT THIS MF

by 早上好中國，現在我是一個simp December 11, 2022

Turtle time

The immediate need of a bathroom for the purpose of expelling a bowl movement which has already begun it's exit. Resembling a turtle head poking out. Reference Austin Powers as Fat Bastard in "the spy who shagged me"

I been needing to poop but can't wait any longer! It's Turtle time!

by Stygmatik November 27, 2019

Turtling

To do turtling, you will need 4 or more people and the class turtle. Each person involved will fuck the turtle and the last person to nut will have to drink all the nut out of the dead turtle.

Me and my class wanted to pull a prank on the teacher, so we decided to do turtling!

by The ultimate businessman October 13, 2024

turtle

electing for a more antisocial option when presented with an invitation

bro 1: "dude do you want to come over tonight? stacy will be there and she's bringing a ton of hookers and lots of blow"
bro 2: "nah, dude, i'm not really feeling up to all that social interaction -- i think i'm just gonna turtle and go home and play GTA"

by handlejandle January 31, 2016