fat wank

the urge to release thy juice from the beast

john: how was your day
me: not good i need a fat wank

by hbdsuhfbu May 6, 2021

Wank 'n bake

When you decide to have a joint or seven with some mates but as soon as they leave and while you're still high you have a wank because you "just want to see how it would feel".

"That was a great j, maybe I should go have a wank 'n bake, you know, just to see how it feels."

by really.im.the.plvg May 23, 2017

Wanked

Completely Drunk

Wasted

Pissed

I’m going to get wanked tonight

Look he’s completely wanked

by Truthbomb22 August 19, 2019

Creasant wank

The art of arranging your 5 favourite porn mags open at your favourite pages into an arc in front of you giving you a 180 degree visual feast to focus on whilst polishing ones trumpet
Sadly becoming more seldom practiced with the advent of on -line rhythm stimulation using tablets and computers

“Can’t wait for the mrs to go out to the bingo later

I’m backing up that much I’m gonna have me a creasant wank “

by Lord loverocket October 9, 2018

Mucky Wank

A reyt nawty n mucky as fuck wank that’s just reyt horrible n mucky x

Fiending for a reyt mucky wank reyt nar

by Cheryl.cole678 July 23, 2023

ballistic wank

A ballistic wank is where you masturbate but don't catch your load, causing it to be fired like a projectile across the room... This is usually done in hotel rooms and rental properties where the landlord is a douchebag

That hotel room was a disgrace so I decided to have a ballistic wank before I checked out

by Flat.Turd June 2, 2020

A Work Wank

A work wank is a term used to when an individual masturbates during work/paid hours.

Andy: "Got a little horny so had a work wank, do it on their time and get paid"

by foshoure May 31, 2020