Someone who attempts to act extremely intelligent, but instead ends up waffling and using words in the wrong context.
"The writer uses words to determine your mind and is not controversial to see the amazing use of ...ummm..."
"What a load of Wankers Waffle!"
"What a load of Wankers Waffle!"
by -JollyGoodShow- April 26, 2014
The Chino Wanker has been a common species amongst the UK youth since around 2010. They are aged between early-to-mid teens and early 20s, and are especially common on University campuses.
Usually, a Chino Wanker...
- Wears Chinos, Vans and vintage tees, as well as Jack Wills, Hollister and Abercrombie
- Thinks any mainstream autotuned music, such as Nicki Minaj, Rihanna and Chris Brown is the be-all, end-all of music
- Frequents the shittest, soulless clubs that play nothing but pop crap
- Describes anything that occurs which is slightly humorous as "banter". It doesn't even need to fit the actual proper definition of banter
- Describes person who does slightly humorous things as "a LAD"
- Thinks they are the epitome of macho, despite dressing like a member of One Direction
- Idolises Joey Essex and Mario "LADotelli"
- Posts really shit anecdotes about how wacky and laddish they are on sites like UniLAD.
- Objectifies the female gender. The only references they'll ever make to women is talking about which "wench" they "smashed" or really shit unfunny jokes about kitchens and sandwiches
- Watches comedy programmes with basic humour like Inbetweeners and Big Bang Theory
- Occasionally some Chino Wankers are edgy and prefer leftfield Indie like The Vaccines and Ed Sheeran.
If you are reading this definition and all these sound like they describe you to a tee, then congratulations! You are a Chino Wanker!
Usually, a Chino Wanker...
- Wears Chinos, Vans and vintage tees, as well as Jack Wills, Hollister and Abercrombie
- Thinks any mainstream autotuned music, such as Nicki Minaj, Rihanna and Chris Brown is the be-all, end-all of music
- Frequents the shittest, soulless clubs that play nothing but pop crap
- Describes anything that occurs which is slightly humorous as "banter". It doesn't even need to fit the actual proper definition of banter
- Describes person who does slightly humorous things as "a LAD"
- Thinks they are the epitome of macho, despite dressing like a member of One Direction
- Idolises Joey Essex and Mario "LADotelli"
- Posts really shit anecdotes about how wacky and laddish they are on sites like UniLAD.
- Objectifies the female gender. The only references they'll ever make to women is talking about which "wench" they "smashed" or really shit unfunny jokes about kitchens and sandwiches
- Watches comedy programmes with basic humour like Inbetweeners and Big Bang Theory
- Occasionally some Chino Wankers are edgy and prefer leftfield Indie like The Vaccines and Ed Sheeran.
If you are reading this definition and all these sound like they describe you to a tee, then congratulations! You are a Chino Wanker!
Chino Wanker dictionary:
Banter - Something funny which has occured.
LAD - Person who does or says something humorous
Lash - Participating in the consumption of alcoholic beverages
Swag - The favourable image one has when they wear Hollister
Totes - Most definitely
Onnittttttt - The decision to attend a social gathering, with consumption of alcoholic beverages
Wench - A member of the female sex.
Hanginggggg - The undesired feelings and sensations after the previous evenings festivities.
Emosh - To be in touch with one's emotions.
Hilar - Something which amuses the Chino Wanker.
Smash It - To engage in an activity with a positive, sometimes incredible, outcome
YOLO - A philosophical outlook on the decision to do something which is unpredictable.
If you use any of these terms, then I am afraid to say that you are an irritating cunt.
Banter - Something funny which has occured.
LAD - Person who does or says something humorous
Lash - Participating in the consumption of alcoholic beverages
Swag - The favourable image one has when they wear Hollister
Totes - Most definitely
Onnittttttt - The decision to attend a social gathering, with consumption of alcoholic beverages
Wench - A member of the female sex.
Hanginggggg - The undesired feelings and sensations after the previous evenings festivities.
Emosh - To be in touch with one's emotions.
Hilar - Something which amuses the Chino Wanker.
Smash It - To engage in an activity with a positive, sometimes incredible, outcome
YOLO - A philosophical outlook on the decision to do something which is unpredictable.
If you use any of these terms, then I am afraid to say that you are an irritating cunt.
by rihannasuxlol November 1, 2012
A person who is convinced their way of eating provides their body with the best nutrients to keep them healthy. They can usually be found in health food stores bragging about their superfood quinoa, chia seed muffins that are sugar, dairy, wheat, soy and preservative free. You will need to give them a run down of every ingredient in everything you cook for them. They've done the Whole30 more then once, and dream about Rob Wolf & Kris Kresser. They are passionate about food and take it upon themselves to bore others with mini rants about how fat doesnt make them fat and the 'SAD Western Diet' is killing them.
Emily: Lets just order in some pizzas when Mel gets here
Tilly: Nah we can't, Mels a food wanker, she wont eat it.
Tilly: Nah we can't, Mels a food wanker, she wont eat it.
by MelV August 5, 2013
Someone who continually uses a "#" before the majority of words that they type on a social networking site.
by Melissage February 1, 2013
British slang:
To wank is slang for masturbating, usually understood to be carried out on a man by someone of either sex.
Wanker's cramp is laughingly used to describe any hand pain, with the understood meaning that the person with the pain often masturbates.
To wank is slang for masturbating, usually understood to be carried out on a man by someone of either sex.
Wanker's cramp is laughingly used to describe any hand pain, with the understood meaning that the person with the pain often masturbates.
by soreofhing July 6, 2009
A lead guitar player who plays badly, loudly, and repetitively, on a blues or pentatonic scale. A Guitar Wanker uses distortion to cover up a lack of skill and creativity. Guitar Wankers have no idea how to structure a solo, so they jerk around mindlessly and endlessly, until the rest of the band decides to shut them up. Although there are a few rare Guitar Wankers (Clapton, Prince, Santana) who are capable of wanking without being totally boring, Guitar Wankers generally have no structural knowledge of music. Guitar Wankers generally try to copy these players, but they can't distinguish between their own playing and the good stuff. Unlike lead jazz guitarists, who can noodle around without being obnoxious, Guitar Wankers never listen to whatever the rest of the band is doing. Guitar Wankers are always convinced of their own brilliance and talent. In truth, a Guitar Wanker lacks craft and taste, so they can only produce self-interested masturbatory noise.
Ace Frehley: I can't even read notes. But I can teach someone how to make a guitar smoke.
Interviewer: Maybe you should have burned your guitar and learned to read notes, you Guitar Wanker.
Interviewer: Maybe you should have burned your guitar and learned to read notes, you Guitar Wanker.
by th3sp3c1al1st July 25, 2019
1) A person who gives off perverted vibes but are too socially awkward to actually perform any sexual act.
2) A person who stands on the edge of a conversation, occasionally joining in however they never fully contribute to the conversation.
3) A person that gives the impression that they would stand and watch sexual intercourse whilst wanking silently in the corner.
2) A person who stands on the edge of a conversation, occasionally joining in however they never fully contribute to the conversation.
3) A person that gives the impression that they would stand and watch sexual intercourse whilst wanking silently in the corner.
“Omg Alex is such a corner wanker, all he does is stare at girls boobs but he’s never actually had a conversation with anyone”
by Hm0411 February 15, 2020