porch slacker

Someone who is readily suitable for any endeavor, but is too self aware to ever leave his house. A mental block that most commonly affects teen-aged through middle-aged men (and some women) who face anxiety when leaving their house. See also: herb.

Susan: Alonso was so totally stoked for this party, but I don't see him anywhere..
Jake: Yea but he's such a porch slacker, he's probably masturbating to those spring fling pictures I posted on his facebook page.

by EEPERSCREEPERS May 21, 2010

Porch Monkey

A porch monkey is a black unintelligent lazy person

Shut the fuck up porch monkey

by mind yo ownnn April 18, 2023

Porch Monkey

A person who sits on their porch all day, usually doing drugs or pissing off of it. They also will show off their genitals and on occasion actually go inside.

Did you see that porch monkey? He just flipped me off while whipping a dog with his dick.

by TerminalJam December 4, 2019

Porch Coffee

Moonshine (or any alcohol) drunk out of a mug on the porch in the morning.

It’s before noon but I don’t want the neighbors to think I’m an alcoholic so I’ve got my porch coffee.

by Bearded American May 1, 2021

Porch Rican

(noun) A Puerto Rican with a basic palate.

You don’t eat clams?! You’re such a Porch Rican.

by Pseudoname8 September 25, 2019

Porch dick

A dick who yells insults from his/her porch.

Pete from the Walking Dead was a total porch dick to Rick.

by KitKat69 April 1, 2015

farquaads porch

An onomatopoeia for the "Archons Forge" area in the 2016 video game Destiny: Rise of Iron, by Bungie Software. It is a mind-numbingly boring arena you must fight through, as if a miniature, malicious monarch set it up.

Hey, wanna grind some rounds at Farquaads Porch to get a 400 light ghost drop? RNGesus has not been kind to me today.

by naruto uzumakemewet March 28, 2017