When you go to get a massage and receive the unfortunate news that your masseuse is Armenian. Shortly after, a very large and domineering woman, usually named Hilda or Helga, walks in and places her greasy hands on the top of your back. She proceeds to massage you, but you cannot help but feel a third thing massaging you, so you look to only see her big floppy cock out, and it is actually massaging your ass. To not be viewed as homosexual, you tell her to get the fuck off and she proceeds to beat your ass and for the next two years your friends give you shit for getting your ass kicked by a girl.
Person #1: Man I heard you got an armenian massage.
Person #2: Yeah it fucking ruined my life.
Pape: Haha jerk. That sucks for you. Man my Porsche-a is so much better than your car.
Person #2: Hey Pape go suck a dick. And by the way, its Porsche and yours is broken.
Person #2: Yeah it fucking ruined my life.
Pape: Haha jerk. That sucks for you. Man my Porsche-a is so much better than your car.
Person #2: Hey Pape go suck a dick. And by the way, its Porsche and yours is broken.
by The Flying Dutchman! Yee! November 3, 2006
Get the armenian massage mug.by Anonym9 September 23, 2012
Get the Brazilian Massage mug.Massage of old world, far-eastern descent strongly implied to culminate in a for-profit (although not found on any invoice/receipt) "happy-ending."
I'm going to "that" parlor afterwork for a puja massage.
"Puja lounge" (as in a parlor)
"She's a puja" (as in massuese)
"On your right, Puja." (as in hotties)
"Puja lounge" (as in a parlor)
"She's a puja" (as in massuese)
"On your right, Puja." (as in hotties)
by Andy808 December 27, 2007
Get the Puja massage mug.a massage without happy ending - sometimes you just want that but not much options at 5 am in the morning...
Tired and sore after getting out of work around 5am.
See a bright sign flashing "MASSAGE".
I pull up and inquire within....
Madame: Hello, you want massage?
Me: Yes.
Madame: $100 okay?
Me: Uhhh... How much for just a massage? Like, only a massage? I don't need anything else.
Madame: Only massage?
Me: Yes. I want a tragedy massage.
Madame: A what?
Me: A massage without a happy ending.
Madame: No happy ending.
Me: Correct. Can I have just a massage? Nothing else. No happy ending.
Madame: ....... No.
(credit: CH)
See a bright sign flashing "MASSAGE".
I pull up and inquire within....
Madame: Hello, you want massage?
Me: Yes.
Madame: $100 okay?
Me: Uhhh... How much for just a massage? Like, only a massage? I don't need anything else.
Madame: Only massage?
Me: Yes. I want a tragedy massage.
Madame: A what?
Me: A massage without a happy ending.
Madame: No happy ending.
Me: Correct. Can I have just a massage? Nothing else. No happy ending.
Madame: ....... No.
(credit: CH)
by pseuDonym_name_001 May 19, 2015
Get the tragedy massage mug.A little thing that's used to massage your head.It's better then life it's better than sex.
Best if someone else uses it on you.
Best if someone else uses it on you.
Dude (insert_name_here) just bought a head massager its the best thing ever!
headmassagesexpleasurerelaxationnirvananohomomassage
headmassagesexpleasurerelaxationnirvananohomomassage
by Kapronca August 2, 2016
Get the head massager mug.by James Sandoe September 5, 2018
Get the NHS MASSAGE mug.Instead of a carpet munching tonight how about just a carpet massage?
A carpet massage a day keeps the bitch away
If you're not ski poling you're carpet massaging
A carpet massage a day keeps the bitch away
If you're not ski poling you're carpet massaging
by ldylumps October 19, 2012
Get the Carpet Massage mug.