Goldfish

the girl/guy who has a significant other, but its not important because they have that magical something that makes you disregard that obstacle.
Guy: "We should go on a date."

Girl: "I have a boyfriend."
Guy: "Well I have a goldfish."
Girl: "What?"
Guy: "I'm sorry I thought we were talking about things that don't matter."
Friend: "Who are you texting?"
Friend 2: "Goldfish."
Friend: "Doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

Friend 2: "Exactly."
by Atilla the Hans September 17, 2013
Get the Goldfish mug.

Goldfish

Me: okay brain, I'm gonna sleep

Brain: Okay

Me: So you have to be quiet

Brain: Okay

Me:

Brain:

Me:

Brain:

Me: -half asleep-

Brain: The snack that smiles back!

Me: *Yells* GOLDFISH!
by Galaxy1412 April 20, 2016
Get the Goldfish mug.

Goldfish

The cheese-flavored snack that supposedly smiles back, but tends to vary in that regard. Some Goldfish are all smiles, but others appear to have no smile at all. Interesting.

The original is usually the best, and with Goldfish, that is no exception. The "flavor blasted" varieties are absolutely disgusting, and the person who thought that making pizza-flavored crackers shaped like fish was absolutely fucked in the head.

Goldfish are promoted by a band of anthropomorphic fish, which are thoroughly annoying, and somewhat detract from the enjoyment of the crackers. The leader of this band of fish is named "Finn" (Ha Ha), and is somehow able to wear sunglasses, despite having eyes on the side of his head, and having no nose. He is also joined by other fish, one of which is named "X-Treme". I can only assume that he was born in the 90's. X-Treme also represents the 'Flavor blasted" variety, which happens to be the exact reason why I despise X-Treme.

The crackers are produced by Pepperidge Farms, and sold internationally. They are quite good. In fact, I am eating some at this moment (the original flavor, duh).
Person- "you want some Goldfish?'
Me- "Hell yeas"
Person- (Pours Goldfish into my hands)
In unison- "The snack that smiles back!"
by Supreme_Sucks March 23, 2017
Get the Goldfish mug.

The Solo Goldfish

The Solo Goldfish is a YouTuber based in the United States. He creates videos of things such as Minecraft videos and short films, as well as lots of random media like the "french fry video". Sometimes known as The Lonely Goldfish, this small influencer has a series called the Think Tank, in which he rants about literally anything. Take, for example, his video on why segregation is good IN A FANTASY SETTING. See, The Goldfish is not an ordinary YT content creator, he's funny, clever, and intellectual.
John McWhite-Guy: Who tf is The Solo Goldfish???
Me: A YouTuber who makes the funniest sh-t on the platform.
by 773. April 21, 2023
Get the The Solo Goldfish mug.

Pretzel goldfish

a male person with an STD
“Hey Stacy, you gonna hit that?” *points at a guy*

“Nah Rebecca, he’s a pretzel goldfish.”
by Your boiyiyiyiyiy December 18, 2017
Get the Pretzel goldfish mug.

Very-Sad Goldfish

A Wannabe YouTuber who hasn't posted anything on his channel yet but I'm still subscribed to for some reason.
Dude 1: "Hey man, I see your still subscribed to Very-Sad Goldfish. Can I ask why?"
Dude 2: " I HONESTLY DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY! I TOLD YOU THAT LAST WEEK!"
by Someone_Named_Joshua November 02, 2020
Get the Very-Sad Goldfish mug.