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Canada's History

Sex act involving wearing a moose head, drinking 100% Grade A maple syrup from the Stanley Cup, gargling "he shoots - GOAL!" and gargling the syrup down your bare chest while defecating on ebelskivvers being eaten by Rick Santorum.
Rick loves his aebelskivvers the old fashioned way, as mandated by Canada's History
by P.S.Udonym February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

Brought back into common usage after being referenced by Stephen Colbert on the Colbert Report on 2/4/2010, Canada's History refers to a sex act in which urine, feces, and maple syrup are mixed in the bowl of the Stanley Cup, before being poured into a vagina or anus which has been propped open with moose antlers.
"Man, I am having trouble sitting properly after my girlfriend showed me Canada's History last night."
by CBWolf February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A most deprived sexual act known to men and moose anywhere. Is a cleveland steamer variation, where at the beginning of sexual act, one partner (preferably a moose) takes a dump on the other.
After this, the shit is soaked in maple syrup and put outside/into the fridge. After several minutes of wild sex with the moose, you take the frozen dump out, and use it as an oral dildo, enjoying it's sweet taste while you gag on it.

Originally it used to be a threesome. Based on gender of the moose and other partners, they would enjoy either a double penetration, or one would use a Stanley Cup as an anal dildo.

Note! This cleveland steamer variation does not allow a steamroll combo! The shit will be too hard and will not smear as effectively + it's really hard to train a moose that way (although there were claims that this is possible with reindeer's) .
<A> Man, you've heard about that sick fuck from Canada?
<B> Dunno, some say he's a coprophiliac, and some that zoophiliac. You know which?
<A> Dude! He's been through whole Canada's History!
<B> Oh man, and he startet off by liking the beaver more than usual.
by cor-m March 3, 2010
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Canada's History

When two hermaphrodites drink a bottle of maple syrup and take turns jamming a moose antler in each others asses and shitting in each others mouths. After the shit and syrup has had time to mix in their stomach they gag each other with the moose antler and puke the shit syrup mush into the Stanely Cup.
My brother tricked me into watching a video of Canada's History.
by stevecolbert February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

Please do not mistake this with "Canada's Herstory"...

"Canada's History" is known as one of the highest rituals among men in that country.Atleast two men must be present for this classic competition. Directions: Make sure to lube that anus with some Maple syrup, you're going to need it. First one make male begins to perform oral sex on another. As soon as the second male is about to reach his climax, he will then turn to shoot it into the Stanley Cup. The Stanley cup is raised in the air, preferably on a coffee table. The height of which his jizz lands on the cup determines how far he must take a moose antler up the ass from the previous participant. It then repeats reversing roles. The person to get it in the cup first wins.
"Don't tell my wife about Canada's History tonight"
by Charlie Fellowship February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

Canada's History is what a women births out of her vagina into the stanley cup after at least six socialized doctors ejaculate inside of her consecutively while using an unnecessary amount of maple syrup as lube.
Canada's History! The end result?! A Celine Dion Concert!!!!!!!
by culinarythug February 5, 2010
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canada's history

a sexual act generally performed between a man, a woman, and any non-consenting animal. though generally considered a fetish, "canada's history" is gradually entering the mainstream.

using moose antlers, maple syrup and the stanley cup as pleasure enhancers, the act begins when the man dips his cock into the maple syrup. though one might think this will be licked off by the woman, it is in fact going to be used as lubrication for anal penetration.

the woman bends over a table, and the man places the moose antlers on the woman's lower back, just above her hips. the antlers then represent an actual, physical, version of a "tramp stamp."

the man slides his maple syrup ensconced cock into the woman's anus, and the two begin a rhythmic give and take; him thrusting, her receiving. this continues until climax, where the man deposits his cum deep inside her bowels.

after squeezing out every last drop of semen, the man removes his cock and grabs the stanley cup. the woman squats over the stanley cup and shits out the frothy mix of santorum and maple syrup into it.

hockey sucks.

(the animal involved simply watches the two humans in disgust. what, did you think it was involved? pervert.)
"stephen colbert gave sarah palin a healthy canada's history the other day. i heard he needed viagra to get hard, given that she's so fucking unappealing."
by brian q. waterman February 5, 2010
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