Wanking the dog

To waste time doing something unecessary.

Example: Gary got fired for wanking the dog.

by PotsNPan July 16, 2021

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wank the plank

When a musician, often in a "jam" band, sensually makes extended love to their instrument's fret board in an indulgent effort to display their improvisational skill.

Dude, I went to that hippie jam band last night, those guys sure know how to wank the plank, man.

by SmellyHippieJamBandLover March 22, 2015

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Whitstonian Wank

The shameful act of standing on Whitstable harbour, giving yourself a reach around to erect the old rogering tool then dunking your corey in some curry sauce and then scream seagull noises so the birds fly down and peck your little pecker off (you get 1 point for every person who looks, 2 points for spastics and 3 points for the feds)

Roger done too many Gary’s last night and tanged a ‘Whitstonian Wank’ in front of like 20 kids last night, he got nicked for animal cruelty and indecent exposure to underage kids.

by Z Noodle April 06, 2021

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Irish wank

Placing one's penis inside a cooked and hollowed out potato. The potato is Ireland's biggest crop, and due to a shortage of eligible women in rural locations, men have taken to placing their erect penises inside potatoes in order to release the inevitable sexual frustration arising from such a situation.

Seamus hasn't had a girlfriend in 20 years. Now he spends most evenings engaging in an Irish wank.

by IrishGypsyDan December 20, 2017

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