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big telly pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating / jerking off, to increase pleasure while watching pornography or sexually stimulating broadcast material to enhance the experience, either on television or vvia internet streaming on computer, smartphone or tablet.
He was so aroused by the two lesbians performing cullingus on each other on late-night television, he couldn't resist giving himself a big telly pokey bum wank.
by Mackem Beefy September 19, 2021
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Fury wank

When someone gets that excited about the boxing they jizz in their pants
Barry was so excited bout the fight he done a fury wank
by Barry charver October 10, 2021
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Wank and dank

Tyrone asked Jamal what he’s been doing lately and tyron said just wank and dank
by Yeye ass haircut January 29, 2021
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Pretzel wank

An exciting masturbation technique for the more experienced and flexible. You put your arm behind your body and bring your hand underneath and between your thighs while squatting. Grabbing your little fella and slap it till it lamattacks everywhere. The shape you end up in resembles a pretzel
1) When you become bored of solo one handed cranking , Change it up with a pretzel wank.

2) If your stuck in a situation where you are crammed in a tight space and alone. Why not have a pretzel wank?
by Itsfarkinchriso June 1, 2017
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Mutual wank day. 7th February

The day you and your partner get on some porn of both of your choice and both get yourself off using your own hands for a wank or mouth

Mutual wank day. 7th February
by anonymous February 6, 2024
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wank in church

The act of masturbating in a church or any other religious setting.
What did you do this weekend?
I had a wank in church.
Ok...
Yeah, the priest wasn't too happy but he saw a choir boy and did the same.
by Baconwound August 9, 2022
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dodgy wank

An additional level of risk to a 'Danger Wank'.

You do the same as a danger wank but have to watch some weird fucked up porn, so if they do catch you it's way worse.
"Dude I'm grounded for 6 months and have to go to therapy because I failed doing a dodgy wank"
by Mrs Pearley November 1, 2021
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