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wank

Advertise companies by posting their backlinks, despite not being a bot or an employee.
I make money nowadays wanking. No, not in the British sense - I post backlinks to companies in exchange for equity.
by jzekyll March 31, 2021
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Whitstonian Wank

The shameful act of standing on Whitstable harbour, giving yourself a reach around to erect the old rogering tool then dunking your corey in some curry sauce and then scream seagull noises so the birds fly down and peck your little pecker off (you get 1 point for every person who looks, 2 points for spastics and 3 points for the feds)
Roger done too many Gary’s last night and tanged a ‘Whitstonian Wank’ in front of like 20 kids last night, he got nicked for animal cruelty and indecent exposure to underage kids.
by Z Noodle April 6, 2021
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hoover wank

When Gareth gets a new hoover and because he hasn’t got a woman he uses the hoover to pleasure himself
Gareth was getting excited looking at the new hoover as he anticipated a hoover wank later
by Jessdirty April 20, 2021
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Flag Wanking

Someone whomst is a Member of the British Conservative party who wants everyone to pledge allegiance to the flag of the UK.
Boris Johnson enjoyed **Flag Wanking** in parilament today.
by Oure April 21, 2021
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Big Telly Wank

The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.
I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.
by sproates April 29, 2021
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fat wank

the urge to release thy juice from the beast
john: how was your day
me: not good i need a fat wank
by hbdsuhfbu May 6, 2021
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nostalgia wank

person 1: I spent the last night listening to old playlists...
person 2: stop the nostalgia wanking already
by Vprofessional May 11, 2021
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