A lonely wank in a Travelodge

You at the end of the day when the gig has finished and all the pretty girls have gone home with their handsome boyfriends to have it off and you're in a cheap Travelodge hotel room all lonely and trying to imagine yourself with those girls by having it off with yourself (masturbating). Sadly, it rarely helps the situation and you end up more depressed than before.

The gig has ended and all the pretty girls have gone home with their boyfriends and I'm here having a lonely wank in a Travelodge. So depressing.

by TheFunnyGuy88 June 30, 2022

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big telly pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating / jerking off, to increase pleasure while watching pornography or sexually stimulating broadcast material to enhance the experience, either on television or vvia internet streaming on computer, smartphone or tablet.

He was so aroused by the two lesbians performing cullingus on each other on late-night television, he couldn't resist giving himself a big telly pokey bum wank.

by Mackem Beefy September 19, 2021

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Polaroid wank

A wank that takes 30 seconds or less.

I've perfected the art of the polaroid wank to a point where it takes less hand-waving to reveal an actual polaroid than to get myself off.

by DjTrololo January 6, 2020

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Debrief Wank

A "debrief wank" is the post-mission solo celebrational personal victory lap after an evening of sexual activity or romance, where you give yourself a standing ovation or high five for a successful mission 'a job well done' in the field of pleasure - the grand finale to a night of shared exploits, "the solo encore to a duet of delight".

So, you know that night with Ellie? Well, I had to wrap it up with a debrief wank when I got home, like a way to commemorate a successful evening.

by Japseyelicker123 April 9, 2024

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