Today

Is a wonderful day. Not yesterday, not tomorrow and definitely not the day after.

“Today is a wonderful day!”

by yindi December 3, 2019

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what did you guys have for lunch today?

something you say in a group chat to change the conversation topic when =

to avoid an unwanted topic
when no one cares about the previous topic
when someone says something that kills the prior conversation
to quickly move on from a topic where everyone's uncomfortable

user a = hey guys, today I found a penny on the ground! I'm the luckiest dude alive!

*whole group chat stays silent for a while*

user b = anyways, what did you guys have for lunch today?

by EL SEXO GRATIS December 23, 2023

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Today I received a Bandi

To receive a excessively long monologue in the form of a message, on any kind of chat platform.

Yesterday i had fallen out with my friend, but TODAY I RECEIVED A BANDI. It was nearly 4 pages long and he apologised for everything.

by xMinister February 10, 2022

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Today

Its 2 days before the day after tomorrow.

"I should probably feed the kids in my basement today"

by OgreTheSober January 23, 2021

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today on things

Expression. Short-hand for "Today on things that happened".

Used when someone is lying, or exaggerating a story. Often used on the internet and seldom in real life.

"Here's a picture of the house I paid off in two years using essential oils!! #BossBabe"

"Today on things"

by GoobyeLikeAOuija July 25, 2021

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