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Everyone's a Comedian

Everyone thinks they're as funny as a comedian, even if they really aren't. Often comes after someone makes a joke that was only funny to them, timed too late, or overly snarky.
Dave: "Man, it's really hot out today."
Jack: "Tell me something I don't know, Captain Obvious. Maybe it's because the giant ball of fire in the sky is out?"
Dave: "Alright, everyone's a comedian."
by nycdoggo May 23, 2025
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everyone

Everyone in this room hates each other’s asses squared.
by 147852369/*-+.0 September 16, 2025
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Everyone is Twelve Now

A social theory describing the phenomenon where adults in American society display the emotional maturity, decision-making skills, and behavioral patterns of twelve-year-olds.

Origin: Coined by Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant.lawyer on Bluesky) as a "unified theory of American reality" that went viral on social media in 2025.
Example 1: "Did you see how that guy threw a tantrum when his coffee order was wrong? Everyone is twelve now."

Example 2: "'Everyone is twelve now', she complained, when in response to HuffPost’s query about who suggested Budapest, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt responded, 'Your mom did', and White House communications director Steven Cheung replied: 'Your mom'."
by patchmonkey October 17, 2025
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Everyone who deserves credit

That's me. And if it isn't me your kids don't deserve to live.
Hym "Everyone who deserves credit and payment had better be me because I'll be ready to go by next tax season."
by Hym Iam November 11, 2025
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National Everyone Is Gay Day

This holiday falls on the 22nd of April. Everyone must be gay and send nude pics to all their same sex friends. Penis or vagina must be shown during this act.
Oh my god! It's National Everyone Is Gay Day! You gotta send your nudes!
by ImNotGayButWillSucDic April 19, 2020
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Discord @everyone day

December 15th, the day of pinging @everyone. Have fun in servers :)
Friend: It's Discord @everyone day

Other Friend: Oh nonono... It's gonna be a pain in servers...
by SparkSpork December 15, 2020
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